Ep. 45: Tara Sun--Author, "Surrender Your Story: Ditch the Myth of Control and Discover the Freedom in Trusting God"

Tara Sun is the author of Surrender Your Story: Ditch the Myth of Control and Discover Freedom in Trusting God (March 2023).  I read her book and couldn't put it down. It is filled with relatable stories, practical wisdom and encouragement for readers of all ages.

Tara takes readers on her journey of discovering the antidote to the burdensome and ultimately empty myth of control: surrendering to the God who cares for us and has an infinitely better blueprint for our lives – filled with the joy, peace and meaning we’ve been searching for.
“When we surrender to God, it might feel like we’re making a sacrifice—after all, it feels like we’re being asked to give up quite a lot,” writes Tara. “But genuine surrender actually involves an awesome trade. You get to trade away the burdens of performance, legalism, and control, and instead receive what I can only
describe as profound peace, real joy, and a deeply satisfying purpose. The best is yet to comewhen we surrender.”

In Surrender Your Story, Tara gives readers practical steps, strategies, and biblically rich insight for letting go of control and moving forward in faith, even in the face of setbacks and disappointments. “When we put our faith in Jesus, we are given a new life, a new nature and anew operating system,” writes Tara. “It’s not just our story. It’s His story.”

• Video: https://www.youtube.com/c/tarasun
• Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/truth-talks-with-tara/id1526013986
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/misstarasun/
• Website: https://www.tarasunministries.com/

Order Stephanie's new book Imagine More: Do What You Love, Discover Your Potential

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Transcript

Stephanie Nelson, Host (00:00):
So welcome, Tara. It's so great to have you here. Tara has a book coming out March 7th called Surrender Your Story. This is a book for all of us. It's about surrendering control to God because he probably has better ideas than we do. I have read every word of the book, not because I had to, but because truly once I started reading it, I could not put it down. It is so beautiful. Tara, I would love to hear more about you. Tell us all about how your journey started and what brought you to the point of writing this beautiful book.
Tara Sun, Author (00:32):
Oh, well, Stephanie, thank you so much. First of all, it's such an honor to be able to hear that you love the book. Like you said, not a not out of obligation for this podcast, although it helped. But I'm so encouraged by that. You are so kind, so thank you. Yeah. What really led me to write this book Stephanie, I don't know, you probably can agree there are a lot of themes in our lives. I know there are different seasons and God brings us through a lot of different things, but I feel like when we look at our lives, there are some things that stand out. You know, whether that's a hardship, a trial, like maybe a major lesson God has taught us. And that for me has been this idea of surrender and control, even though I, maybe I didn't realize it for a long time.
(01:11):
And so really from the beginning, I've always been someone who is very type, a very like control freak. I'm okay to admit that been one of my struggles. And to be super honest, life has always had always been pretty easy for me up until a chronic illness diagnosis at 14 up until dropping out of college. Just a lot of these things that were like what I describe wrenches sewn into my plans. And that was when God really brought me to this moment of surrender where he's like, Tara, you are not in control, but that's actually okay. It's a beautiful thing. And so what really led me to this was obviously the Lord opening the doors in the perfect timing, but also realizing that this is such a prominent theme in our lives of people believing you can manifest your destinies. People believing that you are a girl boss in the way that you don't have to wait for anything.
(02:02):
You can go after it. You don't need to wait for anyone's permission. These are messages that not only the secular world, but the Christian world is believing too. And so Stephanie, I'm like, okay, Lord, you have the perfect timing for this because it's a counter-cultural message. It's not an easy one, but if we can get past it, it's the most life-giving and beautiful and freeing message in the world. And so that's what really led me to write this. And it's been incredible to see how, you know, just how God has been using it in my own life too. You know, you, you hear authors on podcasts like this one and you're like, oh, well they have it all figured out. Like, no, no, no. Like this is something I'm daily surrendering, I'm daily working through. And so it's, it's such an honor to be able to share this message in the world because I'm working through it with everyone too. <Laugh>.
Stephanie Nelson, Host (02:50):
Well, and that's what I loved about your book. It was so relatable. Could you share the story? I so loved the story. You talked about your decision. Tell us a little bit about your plan to go to medical school, your decision to take a pause. And I love the conversation with your father Yeah. And what he said to you, because yeah, I think that's a message for all of us. If you could just put that in bold at the top of this podcast.
Tara Sun, Author (03:13):
Yes. Oh, Stephanie, you are like making me so happy. Thank you so much for like, you know, this message and it's so fun to be able to talk to you about this. But yeah, so the whole journey was, I mean, friends listening, I'm sure you have something in your life, in your mind, even maybe in the past or right now 

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that you think is gonna be a part of the plan, which is not, there's nothing wrong with that. Planning is totally fine. It's not a sin. But a lot of times, most of the time those things don't go our way. And so for me, I have this dream since I was very young to go to medical school, I'm like, okay, that's the plan. I got accepted into a really awesome college that has an awesome science program. I was living at this Christian girls house.
(03:49):
Things were just like, it was just all good, like good things. And that was the plan. And then all of a sudden, the Lord audibly the only time so far in my life that I've heard the Lord audibly tell me, Tara, you're not supposed to be here. And it was the most bizarre thing. And for me that was my wake up moment that I'm like, like, did that really happen? And it kind of sent this wheel into motion where like, okay, God. God said I'm not supposed to be here. And to walk away from something so good was really, really tough and challenging and to forsake what I had planned for my life. And so that kind of set me on this journey of figuring out, okay, what does God really want me to do with my life? And how do I take steps to release that death grip on what I thought and then follow his will and his way?
(04:31):
'cause I realized whether I thought it or not, that I was really trying to hold on to my life. And so when God started like flipping things on its head, I was having a hard time letting go, which no one has an easy time doing. And my dad, even this conversation that you were mentioning in the book a moment, I will never forget, my parents were a little bit shocked to say the least, Stephanie. They were like, mm-hmm. What do you mean? Like that's a good plan. You should go to school. Like, I mean, even as a new mom, my son is not even a year old, but I can imagine like me reacting the same way. Like, oh whoa, wait, wait. Everything we thought was is changing now. And so my dad looks at me and in the moment of just the most honest clarity and just most loving compassion, he said, Tara, you know what he said, I don't really care what you do.
(05:15):
I mean, he said that in the most loving way, he's like, you could be doing anything, but as long as you are following what God wants you to do, he said, you could be working at a fast food restaurant, you could be a doctor, you could be this or that. As long as this is what God wants you to do. He's like, I'm happy with that. And so I think he just summed up Stephanie the book and God's just really God's will in so in so little words just gave me the freedom to be like, okay, we have to lay down our expectations for what God has. And I think my hope too is that when we realize that surrender is beautiful, we realize that we have a really good trade off. Like God may be asking you to lay something down, but he's asking you to pick something up even better that he has for us.
Stephanie Nelson, Host (05:57):
Well, and he has, I mean, I'm sitting here thinking, all right, this woman is so wise. Oh, you are so wise. Thank you. I read your book. I'm like, okay. And I'm, I wasn't gonna say this, but I'm gonna say this. You're 23 years old or you 24 yet
Tara Sun, Author (06:11):
Just turned 24. Yes, just
Stephanie Nelson, Host (06:12):
Turned 24. Okay. So it's like Timothy, you know, there is no correlation necessarily between age and wisdom. And what I think is so neat is because of your age, you are reaching, I'm hoping your generation. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you know, as I was reading your book and you were talking about how to read the Bible mm-hmm. <Affirmative> and how to, you know, if we desire the hard part for a lot of people, especially when I was your age, I was not reading the Bible on a regular basis. It felt like a discipline. Now 

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I'm 59 and I totally understand what you're talking about. Yeah. I love to read the Bible now. Yeah. But ha, I've looked back and I think, gosh, how much would I avoid in my life? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. At your age. If I had been holding on to that. So one of the things to talk about in your book that I just loved was praying for God to help us desire his word. Yeah,
Tara Sun, Author (07:05):
Yeah.
Stephanie Nelson, Host (07:05):
Yeah. Had to desire, I loved what your dad said because now that I'm, you know, I have kids your age mm-hmm. <Affirmative>. And so I talk to my friends who have kids your age who have spent a lot of money on college and their kids graduate in a certain major. Yeah. The kid does it for a couple years and realizes they're absolutely miserable. That's not what they want to do. So they changed the career. I remember a friend of mine saying to me, she was so mad that he had changed his career. Wow. Yeah. Because it would make less money. And she said, this is not the man I raised him to be. So we can Oh
Tara Sun, Author (07:38):
My goodness. Wow.
Stephanie Nelson, Host (07:38):
Yeah. As parents, we can say, wait a minute. Yeah, God kind of gave me this gift and he gave me my job is to partner with him and raising this person. That's why I loved what your dad said, because it doesn't matter what you do, you could have been a doctor. Yeah. So I'm sitting here thinking Tara could have been a doctor. She would've reached a lot of people. You are reached so many more people doing what you are now. Mm-Hmm. She has a very popular podcast with really great wisdom. This book that's coming out, I guarantee you will sell a million copies, <laugh>, you're gonna reach so many people. Bible studies will come out of it. It will touch so many lives in a way that when you sat there on that day with your dad, you couldn't have possibly seen all of that. God couldn't have let you see all of it. 'cause You couldn't have handled it. Right. Yeah.
Tara Sun, Author (08:27):
Yeah. Exactly. That's Stephanie, I love that you said that because I think we have this chapter in the book about God's will, which it's so, there's so much to do. There's so many books about it. Like one chapter can't possibly cover it enough. But I love that you said that because sometimes we are on the search for God's will because God's will goes hand in hand with this idea of surrendering. Because if we're not gonna follow our will, we need to follow God's will. But then a lot of times we're like, okay, well what is God's will for my life? And a lot of times we're like, I just wish God would lay it out just to point A, B, c, just down the line. I'd know everything. Right. But one thing that I've learned in my study of God's word and this idea of God's will and how it goes hand in hand with surrender, is that too much knowledge can be a burden. And mm-hmm. <Affirmative> for God, it's not, he is all powerful. He has all the knowledge, all the wisdom. He's the only one who can handle it. And so when we are stuck in a place of, you know, not trusting God or wanting to know it all, we should just take a step back and be like, God, thank you for not giving me that much wisdom, because we would probably explode. You know? And so that's the really cool thing about resting in God's will and God's way. Right.
Stephanie Nelson, Host (09:34):
So I wanna ask you a question. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. So you have your son, hunter. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, how old is Hunter now?
Tara Sun, Author (09:41):
Well, tomorrow as we're recording this he'll be 11 months tomorrow, but like around a year. So <laugh>
Stephanie Nelson, Host (09:46):

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Okay. So you, before he was born, you had an idea of what it was gonna be like. Yes. To have a baby. Yeah. So now I'm gonna ask you, when you had him mm-hmm. <Affirmative>, were you just completely amazed that it was far beyond what you could have imagined? Yeah.
Tara Sun, Author (10:03):
Oh, I love that you asked that. Yes. There is so much to motherhood and, and you know, this, I'm, I'm in the very early stages, so I love getting to glean from mamas like you. But yeah, it is beyond what I could ever imagine. It is harder than I could ever imagine, but it's more joyful and more, I, I found so much purpose in this and I never even realized. And so it's really cool because even this wasn't shared in the book or anything, but my husband and I got pregnant like four months into our marriage, like a lot sooner than we ever thought would happen again, in our plan, right? Not God's plan, but our plan. So just all of that was this big surrender and being like, okay, Lord, I don't know what's next. But it's been amazing to see how maybe we wouldn't have planned this to happen so early in our marriage, but God did. And how much joy and fulfillment and purpose and have gotten to learn so much more about, about Christ through being a mom than than I ever have. So
Stephanie Nelson, Host (11:00):
You had so many great points in your book, and I don't wanna miss them. One of these is, let's be really practical. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, what are a few tips for listeners who are having a hard time surrendering and letting God take control of their life, which I think is about 99% of people?
Tara Sun, Author (11:16):
Yes. no, like any age, right? Stephanie? Like, young, old and between, like I was talking to my literary agent and she has kids that are my age as well. It's probably a very similar season of life as you, and she's like Tara, like I am in the same boat. Like I have little things. She just moved from a home that she always lived in. And she's like, there's just a lot of things that daily we need to surrender. And so the first thing that I would encourage friends listening that are having a hard time surrendering, is to, first of all, I, I, I just keep coming back to this, but it's one of the most impactful things for me and from scripture, is when you get to know God and you know him, it just helps us release that death grip a little more.
(11:56):
Because I say this in the book, and I preach this all the time, preaching over my soul too. I need, the daily reminder is that we cannot possibly surrender or trust someone that we don't know. And so how do we expect to have any, any semblance of an idea of how to surrender if we don't know who God is? Because if God is this far off mystical guy that is heartless emotionless, we, we don't really know who he is, we don't have a true relationship with him in the word and through prayer and everything he's given us, then when it comes time to surrender, which is a daily thing, we're gonna be like, well, I just don't feel like it's important because I don't trust this guy. I don't know him. And so the first thing is always to come back to the word and always come back to who he says he is.
(12:39):
And it's also like this muscle, it's also a practice thing because I think sometimes we think of surrender and trust in these really big areas of our lives, right? Like, well, maybe I'm struggling with infertility and so I need to trust the Lord with that. Or maybe I'm going through an illness or maybe I'm not married yet. Or maybe just any of these things we, we chalk up the really big things to the moments that we have to trust the Lord and not like the everyday moments of faithfulness and the opportunities there. And so to be able to practice every day in the big and the small is so, so life-changing and important. So for instance, surrendering, maybe you had an idea of what today would look like and something didn't go the way you thought. Just being like, okay, Lord, I surrender.
(13:21):

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I trust I'm gonna follow you, and I'm just, I'm just gonna go where you lead me. So being able to trust him and surrender in the big and the small, I think helps, especially when those bigger things come that we need to surrender. So just those little things are so impactful. There's so much more in the book. But I think it just really comes down to knowing who you're giving your life to. Because if you don't believe that God isn't trustworthy, then that's what you've come to believe. But if you really get to know who God is, if you get to know the Old Testament, the New Testament, his promises fulfilled that he keeps his covenant, that he loves his children, he's proven himself, and that ultimately he's perfect and we're not. It's just like, okay, like you got a good plan for me. You know, that has helped me so much because there have been moments in my life even growing up, knowing the Lord for my whole life. I didn't really know him. And there were those times where it's like, okay, God was pivoting me and I didn't wanna follow him because I thought I knew better. And so getting to know that he's the God that rescued, you know, the Israelites from Egypt and he knew better, just reminding myself of who he was in the past, present, and future is, was just so key for me. Stephanie,
Stephanie Nelson, Host (14:30):
So I'd like you to share, if you wouldn't mind. I think part of the reason you're so wise is that you have been through some tough stuff. Yeah. And so would you mind sharing,
Tara Sun, Author (14:40):
Some people ask me, you know, Tara, what would you do if you could go back in time and never get that diagnosis? You know, like, you know, the three, the genie and the three wishes. Just like, what would you do if this was never a part of your life? And cliche as it sounds, anyone that has any kind of, like Paul says, a thorn in their flesh, although it sucks in the moment, if we have hope in Christ, we know there's a reason for it. And so for me, I'm like, okay, Lord, you use that to bring me on this journey of knowing you deeper and depending on you deeper, which is one of the biggest things that I have learned from my illness is depending on the Lord. Because at such a young age, I thought, okay, I'm at my prime. Or you know, I mean, when you're younger, you think you're in your prime, in those in those days.
(15:18):
And Lord was like, Nope, I'm going to allow this to happen. I'm not going to punish you with this illness, but I'm gonna allow it to happen. And there's a lot of times where I asked the Lord, I'm like, I don't really understand why you're doing this to me. I'm so young, I haven't, you know, in my mind I'm like, I haven't like, you know, done anything crazy and yet I'm a sinner, so I don't deserve anything. But God saved me. And this is just a part of the world we live in today. You know? And God really taught me through moments of just not being able to get out of bed, physical therapy when I should have been in high school. I was, I was pulled out of high school for a year because I just couldn't get out of bed for
Stephanie Nelson, Host (15:53):
A whole school year. And it was fibromyalgia.
Tara Sun, Author (15:55):
Yes, yes. Sorry about that. Yes, fibromyalgia is what I was diagnosed with. And so it's basically just this illness that just affects the nerves, the nerve receptors and your muscles and things like that. And so it can make it really hard to move. It can make it very hard to just be active in life because it just feels like your body's just like achy, but to an incredible extreme. And so for someone who, I have grown up dancing since I was four, so I did all kinds of ballet and very athletic, and then I was 14 and I'm like, like, okay, well now I can't really do much of that. God really stripped me of my idea of strength and my idea of thinking that I was self-sufficient, meaning that I was independent to trust in myself and not in God. And so that fibromyalgia journey impacted me so much.
(16:43):

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Praise the Lord. Today, I'm feeling so much better. I still still wrestle with it, but the Lord has brought me through so much, and without it, I wouldn't have learned a lot about his character. So for those listening, if you have an, an illness or a mental illness, whatever, you're walking through some kind of struggle, I want you to know that like God does not waste any of those seasons. And that if you let him, if you lean in, if you choose to depend on him, that he's going to turn that into more glory than you could ever imagine. But I think for someone on the other side of a lot of things, I just want you to know that because in the thick of it, it can be really difficult.
Stephanie Nelson, Host (17:17):
Can you tell us a little bit about your podcast? Yes. Tara talks. Yes.
Tara Sun, Author (17:21):
Yes. Yeah. Truth Talks with Tara. It's a Truth Talk Talks, it's a whole, it's a whole mouthful of alliteration, <laugh>. But yes I'm a big fan of podcasting just like you are. Stephanie about three years ago started my podcast mainly just because people are like, Hey, I love podcasts and it's so fun and I love to talk. And it feels like a coffee conversation. Like right now, Stephanie, it feels like we're sitting, you know, together over a cup of coffee. And it's really cool to be able to, you can go so much deeper. I feel like, you know, I mean, I love writing words, but it's really cool to communicate it this way. And so, just as an extension of everything else, love helping women do three things. And that is to know love and live God's word. So we, we, we seek to answer questions in the faith or dissect scripture to help us know it.
(18:06):
And then I believe when you know God's word and know God, you're gonna love him. And that love will overflow into like, how do I actually live out my faith? Right? It's been an incredible thing. We get to meet every week and we have some fun guests on the show and we just really wanna get to the heart of God's word as it's intended. And so we have a lot of fun over there. And, and so it's funny because I loved writing when I was young, which it's funny how God like brings that to fruition in a lot of ways. Even, you know, in small ways. He, he really fulfills your gifts and desires, maybe sometimes, not in the ways you thought, but in the ways that are ultimately better and kind of blow you away. 'cause That was for me, 'cause I always loved writing.
(18:42):
When I was young, I would feel notebooks and a little computer that I bought with some money that I earned from working in the summers. And I would just fill it up with words. And it was just like a fun thing. But when I was on the medical school track, I'm like, well, I just, writing's just a class I have to take in high school. But it's been pretty cool to see how God has brought it full circle. I always wanted to write a book, especially after, you know, starting the podcast and Instagram and just kind of getting back into more ministry. But I never pursued it. And it was in that season of I was getting married, there was a lot of other things on my plate and I just, I'm like, Lord, if you want this to happen, I would love for you to open the door.
(19:16):
Because I just felt intimidated by the task. Like, did anyone really want something like this from me? But yeah, so I was actually approached a few months before I got married and was like, Hey, you should write a book. And I'm like, okay, this is a really weird God door opening. And I'm like, okay, I need to take a break right now 'cause I wanna focus on, you know, my wedding and early marriage. And so we got through that point and I remember getting home from our, our honeymoon and I'm like, okay, Lord, I'm gonna take small steps and we're gonna see where this goes. I had no idea what was gonna come about, but I'm like, okay, we're just gonna take one step and then see what you do and then another step and see what you do. And it was incredible to be able to see how we opened the doors of so many people 

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who were excited about the book and publishers really, really hopeful about this message.
(20:00):
And so from start to finish from that first moment that someone asked me that someone sent me an email, a publisher, one publisher, not the one that I'm with right now, but they sent me an email and said, Hey, you should write a book. And from that moment to the moment that the book comes out on March 7th, it will be a little over two years <laugh>. So it has been okay. Yes, it has been quite the journey. Not saying that is what the journey is gonna look like for everyone, but that was quite the journey of writing, like negotiating the contract, right? Picking a publisher, writing your manuscript, editing, printing, and then launch. And so it's quite the tedious process, but I say that in the best way possible. So God just, I guess it was, it was all God. He opened the doors and I really just walked little by little to see if this is what he wanted. But it was right. It, like you said, it was right in the middle of being pregnant with my first, my first baby hunter. And so my literary agent always joke. She's like, Tara, you, I literally turned in my manuscript for my book six days before Hunter was born <laugh>. And so she's like, Tara, you birthed a baby and a book at the same time. And then Stephanie, this is so fun. March 7th is not only book launch day, but also Hunter's first birthday. So it's going to be so fun. Oh, <laugh>.
Stephanie Nelson, Host (21:14):
Oh, I love that. Tara, thank you so much for spending time with us today. You are so wise and inspiring. It has been great to get to know you. I wish you the very best with your book and your ministry. Thanks so much.