Pivotal People
Join us in conversations with inspiring people doing amazing things. Their insights and experiences help motivate all of us to find our purpose that fits with our abilities, gifts and life situation. Get a "behind the scenes" look at successful people making a difference in the world and benefit from their advice for the rest of us. Our guests include authors, artists, leaders, coaches, pastors, business people and speakers.
Pivotal People
Laura Smith's Guide to Meaningful and Joyful Living
Welcome Laura Smith to the podcast, with her 14th book, "The Urgency of Slowing Down: Bibilical Wisdom for Everyday Renewal."--coming Dec. 3rd, 2024. This is Laura's third episode with us--she is a prolific writer of really beautiful books. And this is a book all of us need!
Instead of adding new habits to our never-ending to-do lists, what if the key to a more fulfilling life is found in the art of slowing down? Laura unravels themes from her book and offers practical advice on how to seek and follow Jesus even in the midst of our busy schedules and lives.
Connect with Laura online for further insights and resources.
www.laurasmithauthor.com
https://www.instagram.com/laurasmithauthor/
Order Stephanie's new book Imagine More: Do What You Love, Discover Your Potential
Learn more at StephanieNelson.com
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I'd like to welcome author Laura Smith to the Pivotal People podcast and that might sound familiar to you because this is the third time she's been with us, because she is a prolific writer and she's coming out with a new book, which I've read, which is fabulous. Let me tell you a little bit about Laura. First of all. Her book is called the Urgency of Slowing Down Biblical Wisdom for Everyday Renewal. I love that. The Urgency of Slowing Down. Laura is a popular speaker, a bestselling author, and her goal is to tear down the lies we're bombarded with so we can live in Christ's truth. Her previous book, how Sweet the Sound, the Power and Promise of 30 Beloved Hymns, has sold more than 130,000 copies and this is her 14th book. That's amazing. I'm making this up. This is in her bio. She writes books in her spare time, because she has so much spare time, because she has four children and a husband and she's a very involved volunteer and, I think, minister. So, laura, welcome. It's so great to have you here.
Speaker 2:I'm so honored to be back on. Thank you, stephanie and I of course, read your book.
Speaker 1:I said before we started, this is her third book that I've read. I love Laura's books because to me, they feel like I'm putting on a warm blanket and at the same time, she's really talking about the truth not just the grace, but the truth of Christ. The grace of Christ and how that can become real in our lives. We're going to start discussing it. I'm going to ask Laura to share more about how she wrote the book, but I found this one sentence towards the end of her book and I think it describes it beautifully.
Speaker 1:She says this book is about intentionally seeking and following Jesus and figuring out ways that work for us in our situations, locations and stages of life. So it's really not a book telling us what we have to do to get closer to Jesus. I read it as a book that talked about all the ways we could take advantage of the opportunity to receive Jesus in the midst of our lives in a way that works for each of us not what we think we should do or what we see other people doing, but how God wants to connect with us. So, laura, I'd love for you to share a little bit about what prompted the idea of writing this book.
Speaker 2:Sure, for me it all started back during 2020, when we had the COVID shutdown and our calendar with four kids typically meant divide and conquer.
Speaker 2:For my husband and I, it was our mantra just like you take this kid to practice, I'll take this kid to practice for the weekend. You go to this soccer tournament out of town so I can stay in town for this play practice. And all of a sudden, when COVID hit, our calendar went from so crazy and quite stressful when we thought of days where, like we don't even know how we're going to get that kid there, let alone like breathe or enjoy some of the goodness of God. It was just like tackling the tasks. And then our calendar went from so crammed you know, in our digital Apple calendars, with so many colors to empty. And there were, of course, a lot of tragic, sad things that happened with COVID. There was a lot of grief and mourning, and I don't mean to diminish those at all, but I discovered the sweetness and the slowness and I was also intelligent enough to realize that at any day we were going to speed back up again. So I spent a lot of time with the Lord during that time, being like okay, god, psalm 23, six says surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. So there's goodness and love for me here in shutdown and there will be goodness and love for me when it starts back up again. But how can I embrace it? How can I take what you're teaching us? I mean, this is a big lesson, like the whole world just shifted, how it looked and what was going on. So, god, what can we learn here and what can we take forward?
Speaker 2:And you know, it was so sweet during COVID, if you remember, people were like started making sourdough bread and doing puzzles and like painting, and and doing puzzles and like painting. And you saw all these really cool videos and pictures of families doing stuff together and people trying new crafts and new hobbies and things they discovered that they loved, that they didn't have time for before. And I was like, okay, so which things that I love are gonna be important to make time for? And what things was I doing that were robbing me of this? Goodness God has for me.
Speaker 2:And so when I was in the midst of all that, when life started picking back up, I'm like, okay, it's picking back up, I still have four kids, I still am an author, I am a speaker, I'm still doing these things. I still have a husband. We have a house to maintain. How am I gonna take what I learned and move forward? And that was really this just pounding in my heart that I needed to learn to savor the slow and hold on to someone. So I'm not just jump back into hustle culture just because the on button was pushed, that didn't mean that we as Christians had to go along with that.
Speaker 1:Right, and isn't that true? I'm sitting here thinking, as you're describing that whole season. I made some of my best friends during that season season. I made some of my best friends during that season.
Speaker 1:Reconnecting with people and saying do you want to take a walk outside and certainly read a lot of books, a lot of really good, soul filling books, and spent a lot of time outside the urgency of slowing down. I'd love to get into the meat of some of this because I think this can help people today. Laura's book is coming out in December. That's when we're going to have this podcast run, so you can go get it from Amazon right now. But the first part of your book talks about things we can take out of our lives to free up mental, emotional, physical time, and I found it fascinating. Some of those things were fascinating and it really convicted me to give a couple of those things a try. And then when we do that, we have the space.
Speaker 1:Your second part of your book is about things to put into our lives and all of this is back to what we said in the beginning in order to intentionally follow Jesus. And let me pause there for a second. When people hear intentionally follow Jesus, they might hear religious expectation, they might hear required religious practice. When Laura's talking about it, intentionally seeking Jesus is about so that we can experience that joy and peace and contentment that he promises, we kind of keep missing the boat. We think, oh, this is the job, this is just another task, this is something that will just add to my to-do list, when in fact it's an avenue. You said at one point an avenue to experiencing God's joy, and isn't that what everybody wants? Of course we all want joy, peace and contentment. We're just trying to figure out how to get it. So Laura's book kind of shows us a way to get it the urgency of slowing down. So first of all, I think everyone can relate to this.
Speaker 1:You talked about in the very beginning, second chapter, what to let go of in our life, taking inventory of everything in your life. Could you take it from there? Like, where would someone start if they said what do you mean? Take some things out of my life? What are you talking about? I have to do all these things.
Speaker 2:How do you take inventory? I think we all have this should like, we should ourselves other times like I should do this and I should do that, and I should do this, and I should do that and I should do that. And even, as you were talking about religious practices, I should, should, should, should volunteer for every single thing at church and you know, god bless everyone who volunteers at church and we need volunteers, but whoever's listening, you don't have to volunteer for all the things. So if we actually paused and looked at our calendar for a week or a month, however, you kind of schedule your life and looked at everything that's in it, like what do you do? Or what do you just even a day? What do you do on a day? What, during the day, brings you joy? What brings you closer to God? What helps your relationships thrive? What gives you a headache? What stresses you out? What are you looking at? You're like, eh, when I get that little screen time notification on every Sunday on my phone, do I really need to spend that much time on my phone every week, right? What are some things that are unnecessary, that you could delegate, that you could drop, that you could trade out?
Speaker 2:And it's all about being intentional, right, we all have 24 hours in a day. We all do, and we can use them however we want, because God gives us free will and we can sit and watch Netflix all day, every day, and that would be a shame, and I love to watch a good show on Netflix, but you know, if we just spent all day, every day, doing that, that would be a shame. We can work all day, every day, because, certainly because of the internet, we can text and email 24, seven. You know, you can record podcasts any hour of the day. Stephanie, I can write in the middle of the night, right, we can also do laundry or clean our house in the middle of the night. Like, we get to choose how we use that time. So I don't, I think a lot of us aren't even looking at how we're using our time. We're just on autopilot, we're just like and then I do this and then I do that, and then, oh, just the intentional step back and be like how am I actually using my time?
Speaker 1:Well, they say this this is true for anything Like, for example if you don't know where your money's going, they say well, start tracking your spending, and you're always a little surprised.
Speaker 1:If you want to lose weight and you don't know. Well, start tracking your eating. And we're always a little surprised. I like this idea I haven't done this before of really saying you know how am I spending my time. Because I thought today, after reading Laura's book, I'm taking a walk and I was thinking about someone who told me oh yeah, I'm too busy to do X, y, z. Well, you know, we all have 24 hours a day and there are some people I know who run multiple businesses and nonprofits and still enjoy time with their family. So we all have the same amount of time.
Speaker 1:And it was interesting to me when I thought about, okay, I'm guilty of screen time. I didn't realize I was. I mean, I'm retired. When I get that phone notification, I'm like I spent that many hours a day on the phone. Well, it adds up. It's that quick check of this, quick check of that, quick check of this, quick check of that.
Speaker 1:And I thought, you know what? I turned off all my notifications, because notifications tend to pull you in. And then, next thing, you know, I'm going to try to reduce that Because to get a couple hours a day back, what you could do with a couple of hours, and it's not what you could do. I mean, you could actually sit and enjoy watching a sunset, for, I mean, there are things that are going to make you feel a whole lot better, for me at least, than being pulled into the rabbit hole of. You know, I start with a notification. Next thing, you know, I'm looking at someone's wedding picture, so I don't even know Right why am I doing that? It's easy, so taking inventory, all right, I like to think. Giving yourself permission, you said we should ourself. All the time you talked about entertaining and you talked about how you know you feel like when you entertain, you have to have everything be so perfect. So I want to share something, laura that prompted.
Speaker 1:We have a group of friends, retired couples, five or six couples that we got to know a few years ago when we moved to a small town and, naturally, when we would all get together, some, like I, would call up my neighbor when we first arrived and said why don't you guys come over for appetizers and drinks? And polite people always say, well, what can I bring? And so, oh, no, don't, don't bring anything, it's just gonna be low bar, low bar. Well, she loved that. I'm a low bar entertainer. That means the bar is low chips and salsa and I cut up some vegetables and I have some cheese and crackers and I just really want to see the people. I want to spend time with the people. I don't want them to starve while they're at my house. So they get a little something, but I'm not going to pull out a recipe and stuff any mushrooms ever. Well, people always have a nice time.
Speaker 1:Well, she loved that idea of low bar and she immediately branded it low capital, l capital B, and to the six couples she sent out a text and said we're going to do something new. We're going to have low bar happy hour and whoever wants to host it, here are the rules. It starts at five and ends at seven, which is great. No one has to make dinner, no big yeah. You are not allowed to make anything fancier than chips and salsa, cheese and crackers or veggies. And if you open up the hummus thing, you can't put it in a pretty dish, it has to be in the plastic container.
Speaker 1:In the container or you're out and the host serves beer and wine and soft drinks and seltzer for people who don't drink and none of that matters. And nobody can bring a little housewarming gift, so nobody brings anything. And I'll tell you what. You know what happened, Laura? Everybody started hosting low bar, so we had a social get together every single week all summer long, with no stress, really no stress, Right, and it really showed all of us that we just want to spend time together and you don't have to ratchet up the bar and what, if, what if? Now I can't brand it. You know I live in Atlanta the rest of the year. You have to come out of the gate that way, you have to have someone set rules. It taught me how important being with people is without putting so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect entertainers.
Speaker 2:I love that so much on so many fronts. I love that you guys do this. I love that it really increases your awareness of the time with the people, versus the pretty place settings or the cool little centerpieces or, you know, the flower bouquet or all of that. You just enjoy each other. And the most important thing I think about all of it is you guys are giving each other permission to slow down. Because what happens is if and someone out there, if you are a gourmet chef and like cooking the most intricate appetizers is really your jam and it brings you great joy. Awesome, do the things that bring you joy.
Speaker 2:But for most of us and I even like to cook, if I just know that no one is expecting anything. And then the people who come think, oh, the next time I have people over, if I want, I could literally just order pizzas. It's just about having the people over. And the next person's like oh, you know, I'm a bread baker, so I'm just gonna bake some bread and put out some jams, like whoever. Whatever, your thing is right. It just takes the pressure from giving other people permission. I think how we've gotten into this horrible hustle culture is it's the opposite right. Everything we hear is I'm crazy busy, you know I've got a hustle, I'm you know sleep is overrated, and when that's what we hear all the time, then we kind of build ourselves up into this frenzy. But if the people we're hanging out with are like low bar gathering, we're giving each other permission. I love that you're doing that for us and such everyone listening. Give the people around you permission to lower the bar.
Speaker 1:That's right. That's right. I did joke with one of my friends. I said well, next week I'm going to do the cheese whiz out of the can. And she said, oh no, that would be below low bar. You're not allowed to do that. So we do have our standards.
Speaker 2:Laura, I'm glad, I'm glad.
Speaker 1:But you know what's happened. This started about four years ago. Those people are some of my dearest friends Because of how frequently we have all connected and what's neat is it's the husbands and the wives, so the husbands have all connected Lots of times. As women we do that but we don't know Anyway, so I've spent too much time on that. But if we get one thing, if anyone's listening and you decide to implement your low bar social times, I want to hear about it. I love it so much. You talked a lot about boundaries and saying yes or no. Would you mind talking a little bit about setting healthy boundaries?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's so important around everything right Around our time and around our relationships and around what we will or won't do. God actually created boundaries and Psalm 16, it says the boundary lines have been drawn for me in pleasant places. And it's just this beautiful image that boundaries aren't actually like trapping us and they're actually keeping us safe and they create a pleasant environment for us. And so we need to set boundaries on our time for us. And so we need to set boundaries on our time, like if we answer texts at 10 pm, people will keep texting us at 10 pm. If we never text after eight, the people around us will get the hint that we're not going to answer then, so they're not going to hear from us till morning.
Speaker 2:If we have boundaries on when we go to bed, like if that for me, I need sleep or I don't function so well we all need sleep or we don't function so well, but I tend to tell my family I'm going to bed before the rest of them are, because that's a boundary I know is good for my physical, mental, spiritual health if I sleep well. If there are people that are actually toxic for you or bring you down or drain you. You're allowed to say thanks for the invitation. I can't attend, like you don't have to attend just because you feel like you should. Again, you're allowed to set the boundary, to say for me, that's draining, what would be so much healthier for me is to spend my time this way. So there are so many different boundaries we can set on how much we spend, or on you know how many items of clothing we have, or whatever the thing is. We don't have to fall into the more is more, right, right.
Speaker 1:Although you know there is this, this thing we have naturally, which is we don't want to hurt people's feelings. So, giving permission for boundaries you say it so much better than I do in your book but giving permission, I think, frees us up, as you said, to be closer to God, because you're being closer to who you are.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I mean, maybe you've given the toxic person several opportunities. You know, frequency of contact does not change the interaction in so many cases. Correct, they call that. Banging your head against the wall is what they call it. Frequency of contact does not change the interaction in so many cases. Correct, they call that. Banging your head against the wall is what they call it. And here's another topic which I've read a lot about.
Speaker 1:A lot of podcasters, a lot of authors talk about this, but Laura had a way of saying it that made me take three pages of notes the idea of our phones being such a distraction. So, aside from the time that we notice that's taken out of our schedule. This is what convicted me when Laura said this. I don't know anyone who hasn't looked down at their phone when there's a pause in the conversation, reaching for an instant connection with people who aren't even there. Whoa, did that strike me? I was like. So she's like is every conversation easy? No, but what if we stuck with them? What if we just allowed ourself to feel the awkwardness of that pause? I said to my husband this morning I always quote my conversations with my husband but I read that and I said okay, you know what I get together with girlfriends for coffee and lunch and walks a lot. I am turning off my phone, so it's just a reflex that we all have.
Speaker 2:It's just a reflex.
Speaker 1:Why is my phone on my lap when I'm having coffee with my girlfriend? It doesn't need to be there because, as Laura said, if we let ourselves have that pause, we might ask one more question. That might take the conversation to a deeper level. They might be pausing because they're thinking about something and if we're really listening, they're going to feel more comfortable answering. But if they see us glancing down at our phone, how hurtful is that? It's like you just erased all the value of taking the time to spend with your friend at all. Right, so I'm saying this because I'm guilty of it. And the last thing you said, which I thought was great, writing Laura, you said, instead of reaching for our crutches the phone, let's just be there. So it's not just about how much time we spend on the phone For me. It convicted me to say who am I hurting when I'm looking at my phone and acting like it's more important than being with the person I'm with right now?
Speaker 2:Right, right, no, we live in a college town and I just walked into a coffee shop the other morning and you could tell there was a set of parents that had come in to visit their college student while they're at school, right, and the three of them are in the coffee shop and they're all three on their phones and maybe they were scheduling something together. I don't know what you know, I'm not trying to judge, I don't know what the situation was, but my heart broke for a second, thinking of my kids who are at college, how spending time with them is the best gift I get, and how sad I would be if I was with them and they were on their phone when I finally got to see them, when I finally got to be with them, right? So the whole culture, me included, is guilty of this. I wouldn't have written it if it wasn't something I was working on myself. I'm never condemning. These are things I am learning and processing and the Lord is trying to teach me to do better on.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, and it's just so sad, I'm like, oh, like, don't they want to ask their student about their roommate and their classes and if they're okay, instead of just on the phone when they're like yeah, everything's fine, like don't they want to dive deeper? And the student who might be a little homesick, give her a chance to express I miss you guys. Or you know, this is hard, like I don't want to miss out on all that good stuff, right?
Speaker 1:It hit me, I suppose, because I realized that's something common that I do. You said that research has shown that adults spend an average of two to five hours a day on their phone and I mean there are useful things. Let's not condemn all phones. It's using your GPS and it's you know making phone calls all kinds of useful things.
Speaker 1:We all know what the not useful things are. But you know what broke my heart the average number of hours a day that teenagers spend on their phone. Five to eight hours a day yeah, oh my gosh. So think about when my kids were teenagers smartphones were not as big as they are now. I can remember, you know, they were so busy with activities and they were supposed to be studying and they had pressure of tests and all of that and SAT prep classes they had to take and all these things. Where do you find the five to eight hours a day? Probably your sleep time and anyone I mean. Sleep is so, so important. I think we're learning how much more important sleep is than we thought it was for longevity, for our immune system, for our mood. So we have teenagers especially who experience anxiety and depression at a higher rate than any other age group. I bet I just made that up. I don't know if that's true.
Speaker 2:They do. Actually, they do. Yes, it's true.
Speaker 1:I've just had a couple, so I'm guessing and you think well, my gosh, how different could. So many times, when people are depressed or anxious, you think oh, what is that awful thing in my life that's causing this and we can go down a rabbit hole. Oh, it must be that I have no friends, it must be that my marriage is bad, or whatever. And in fact it's that we're tired and we need to eat a sandwich. And if people like recognize that, oh, I need to like. Nourish my body, I need to snacks.
Speaker 1:I am going to be a lot happier. It was that simple. So, anyway, I don't know what the solution to that is, because it's so much a part of our culture now that every young person has a phone and they're on it. I don't know what the solution to that is, because it's so much a part of our culture now that every young person has a phone and they're on it. I don't know if you've noticed this, but we live in a neighborhood and I passed the school bus stop with the middle schoolers standing on the corner and when my kids were in middle school yes, it's an awkward age, but you'd be standing on the corner They'd be talking to each other. Now, every single student is looking at their phone on the corner. They'd be talking to each other. Now, every single student is looking at their phone.
Speaker 2:Nobody is talking to each other and they're all standing far apart. It goes back to the whole conversation thing that it's awkward, so it's hard, so it's easier to lift your phone than to try to engage. But how are we ever going to learn how to communicate with each other and listen well to each other if we don't do the effort of communicating?
Speaker 1:And as adults. As adults, I think we can say this to ourselves. I don't know what the answer is on kids, so I don't want to be a downer, but it's funny. I was reading your book and you talked about in part two now we're going to get to, let's put some fun things in our life. And you talked about refueling and you Laurie Santos, a professor at Yale who teaches a class called Psychology and the Good Life. It's about happiness. It is the most popular class at Yale.
Speaker 2:I believe you said 25% of students have taken it, so she stopped teaching it now and now it's all available online, but at the time that it was offered live, it was, yes, the number one class at Yale.
Speaker 1:Which is so interesting to me. So I read Laura's book, I read that chapter and then I went to take a walk and I thought I'm going to listen to a podcast and up comes Laura Santos, happiness Lab podcast. I'm like, okay, I didn't know who that woman was until five minutes ago. I'm going to listen to her podcast. Let me tell you people, it was great. When you're done with my podcast, then you're allowed to listen to hers.
Speaker 1:Awesome. So you talked about some of the things to refuel savoring our lives, getting outside, practicing gratitude, engaging in meditation or prayer. These are the things that Laura Santos, the doctor, found really makes people happy Not winning the lottery or getting good grades, it's free stuff. All of these things are absolutely free Savoring our lives, getting outside, practicing gratitude and engaging in meditation or prayer.
Speaker 2:If you think of all those free things too, they're actually all gifts from God. So Laurie Santos's work is not Christian, necessarily. It's not anti-Christian, but hers is just like pure science. These are things that actually bring our brains and our bodies and our minds joy. And isn't that, of course, so cool? Because one of the fruit of the spirit is joy, and Jesus says he has come to give us great joy. Like joy is something God created for us and wants us to have. So he's like get out into my creation, pray, talk to me, give thanks to God. Like these things that are free, that I've given you community, these actually bring you joy. I've given them to you as gifts. I've written it into scripture that if you do these things, it's like I'm not giving you a rule book. I just want you to have goodness. So if you do these things I've instructed you to do give thanks and pray you will actually have a more full, rich life.
Speaker 1:And that is what your first paragraph that's what struck me is. So many times people think, oh, I'm not going to read the Bible because it's going to tell me things I don't want to do and it's going to make me feel guilty for who I am, and I really don't. It's like we think we can hide from God. But if you really did open up the Bible Philippians 4, 8, you're going to find out. The thing is filled with God telling us he loves us over and over again. I love you, I love you, I love you. I created you. I love you exactly the way you are.
Speaker 1:And sure, there are things in here that I'm suggesting you do, like lifestyle choices, but it's not to please me. It's because, like parents and little kids, we don't want them to hurt themselves and we know what's going to happen if they run in front of the car. So we tell them not to run in front of the car. The Bible and Paul and Jesus tell us not to do certain things, not because we would be a bad person if we did it, but because we would be a sad person if we did it. They're just trying to protect us because they love us.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You know. So your book just continues to remind. Throughout it, you're just reminding us that God loves you. He doesn't want you to be crazy, he wants you to be happy, he wants you to be at peace, he wants you to be content. Here are some practices. So some of the practices that you talked about refueling can you give us some examples of what you're talking about? Sure Sleep is obviously one of them. Practices that you talked about refueling can you give us some examples of what you're talking about?
Speaker 2:Sure, sleep is obviously one of them, as we talked about, it's so important for our mental, spiritual and physical health. Prayer is definitely one, because we're talking to God and when we get to unload our problems to someone who's so much bigger and stronger than us and who loves us so much more, it brings us so much peace. When we are reminded by the one who created us, how much he loves us and how much good he has for us, it fills our hearts with love and joy. We get guidance, we get direction, we get comfort. Like this. Stepping into prayer is for our benefit. It's just so fulfilling and life-giving.
Speaker 2:Reading our Bible is the same you just said it's not a should-not list. It's really it is. It's God's love for us, from page one to the very end of Revelation. It's just an invitation to experience God's goodness. God gave us free will. If it was all you have to, then we wouldn't have free will. He would have just said this is what people must do all the time. He gave us a choice because he loves us so much, and it's just a giant 66 book invitation into how to have the most incredible life full of love.
Speaker 2:Yeah, celebrating God created celebrations. I think this is so cool, like what a good God we have, that he actually instructs us in the Bible to celebrate. So when people are like it's just these things I can't do, it's not true. God created feasts and festivals and these giant celebrations, and when we celebrate again, it brings us joy, it brings us together with other people. It helps us remember how God has been good to us in the past, which helps kind of strengthen our muscles for how he's going to be there for us in the future. So there's lots of good things.
Speaker 1:You wrote a whole chapter on celebration and I'm not good at this. I tend to go on to the next thing. So I liked what you said. Yeah, celebrating helps us remember all that God is doing for us. Dallas Willard love Dallas Willard. I mean, I don't understand him, so I'm glad you translated for me. Celebration trains us for joy.
Speaker 2:It's training us so good, so good.
Speaker 1:So you asked the question. I put a star here because this is my homework assignment. I write all these notes from who or what can you celebrate this week? This week, like you don't have to wait for a birthday or anniversary what is something this week that you could just stop and celebrate, right, you know? And if you could celebrate someone else, how wonderful that is.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, you can celebrate the good weather. You can celebrate that a book released that you're excited about. You can celebrate someone in your life who had any kind of an achievement at all. You can celebrate anniversaries of things, but also like celebrations of being sober for so long or seeing a counselor for so long, or I've intentionally been exercising or eating right for so long. I'm going to celebrate that I've been taking care of myself, or, you know, you can celebrate most anything.
Speaker 1:Okay, you just prompted a thought. All right, I had to write that down. We're almost out of time, so we have to hit this. Earlier you talked about so many of the people who listen to this podcast are mothers, and it's only natural that we, and fathers too, worry about our kids Especially. They say, oh, we're empty nesters, they left. No. Then when they're I mean I can speak from experience when our kids no longer live with us, then we really don't have any control, then we really worry. We're like oh my gosh. And in your chapter about gratitude you started out with just, you really pulled me in by yeah, okay, so I do worry about my kids and not having control, but you talked about the remedy for that. Could you explain that, elaborate how gratitude is the remedy for that?
Speaker 2:Sure. So gratitude actually flips the switch in our brain. We God has wired us which is so cool that he's wired us this way that we cannot have an anxious thought while we are giving thanks, so we're actually expressing gratitude. So that doesn't mean I just say, like, thank you for passing the salt, because that's not actually expressing gratitude. That's almost just like a rote reaction, right? But if I actually pause to be thankful for something like gosh salt makes this tomato have so much more flavor, right, like then you can not be having an anxious thought at the same time.
Speaker 2:So when we go about our days and say you're having a particularly stressful day maybe you are stuck in rush hour traffic and you're late to a meeting and you've gotten a fight with one of your kids and you're really worried about them and you're just trying to love them, but you ended up snapping at them and all this is going through your brain If all of a sudden you're like, okay, okay, okay, god, I know you still have goodness for me. I know you do. You promise you have goodness for me. I know you do. You promise you have goodness for me every day. So I'm thankful that I have a car, I'm in this traffic, but I'm thankful that I have a car, because not everyone does. Wow, okay, I'm thankful that, even though there's traffic, like I'm not in an accident. If there's an accident up there that's causing the traffic, thank you that I'm safe right now. But, like, thank you for your kindness and your protection there, start praying for the people who are in the accident and all of a sudden, you have this huge sense of gratitude that you're safe and that there are ambulances and police who can help them.
Speaker 2:You got in a fight with your kid.
Speaker 2:Okay, god, thank you so much for my child. Like I love them so much. I just want them to be happy. Oh, like you love me so much and you just want me to be happy. Thank you for loving me that much. And can you please give me the words to say to them so they can understand better and so that I can express my love to them? And all of a sudden, you get this idea in your head to like text them a picture of something or a famous, a favorite quote you guys share, or like, if they still live at home with you or live nearby, like to bring over their favorite treat. Like this idea pops in your head and you know God gave that to you because you just asked him. You're like, oh God, thank you for that idea. And all of a sudden you're still in traffic, you still have this fight, but all of a sudden you're full of so much gratitude for your protection, for how God loves you, for the people he's put in your lives, and it just changes everything.
Speaker 1:It does, it flips the switch and just going through that I'm okay. Yeah, in your acknowledgements you've always got to read people's acknowledgements. So with Laura's book you particularly want to read her resources, because she has a lot of good books that she mined that she used as references for this book. So if you love Laura's book, which you will. I'm going to read some of the books that are in the book.
Speaker 1:I loved your acknowledgements. You just were so loving and kind to every single person, although my favorite line was to her husband I'd stop the world to melt with you If you're too young to know what that means it's anyway, you can tell we're children of the 80s, right?
Speaker 1:what that means. Anyway, you can tell we're children of the 80s, right? Lots and lots. I think I counted was it 25 chapters. There's lots we didn't hit on. Each topic is a chapter. But what I loved about the format of Laura's book it's 24 books plus the conclusion is that each chapter is clearly one topic. So it's one topic to maybe reconsider taking out of your life, and the other topics are things to add into your life. But at the end of each chapter are some really good questions, kind of as guidelines for how to make this a practical application in your life. And she does start the book and finishes the book by saying we are busy. This is not another to-do list. These are not intended to go out and think you're going to do all of this overnight. I am picking two things and I'm going to be intentional about two things because I really do think they're going to make my life more joyful.
Speaker 1:And that's just selfish, and then maybe I'll add two more. I think of it kind of as a reference book. Laura, you said it's coming out as a December 3rd. What's the date?
Speaker 2:The first Tuesday in December.
Speaker 1:So, okay, let's call it December 3rd, you can get a copy. What I'm going to do is, if you go to the show notes for this podcast, at the top is a way to text me, for this podcast, at the top is a way to text me.
Speaker 1:You can also reach me at stephanienelsoncom and the first five people who send an email or a text to me, will get a free copy of Laura's book, and I think it's just time you could read it, and maybe you'd also want to give it as a gift to someone. So again, the title of it is let me get it right the Urgency of Slowing Down. Biblical Wisdom for Everyday Renewal from Laura L Smith. I just want to thank you so much, Laura, for taking the time to be on the Pivotal People podcast. I want you to hurry up and write another book so you can come back on.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me on again. I'm so grateful for you and your work, Stephanie. You're so full of grace. And where can people find you? Sure, the best place is to find me. My website is laurasmithauthorcom, and on Instagram also at laurasmithauthor. It's where all my books, free resources, all the stuff Great.
Speaker 1:Well, thanks so much, and I look forward to talking to you with the next book. Thanks, stephanie.
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