Pivotal People
Join us in conversations with inspiring people doing amazing things. Their insights and experiences help motivate all of us to find our purpose that fits with our abilities, gifts and life situation. Get a "behind the scenes" look at successful people making a difference in the world and benefit from their advice for the rest of us. Our guests include authors, artists, leaders, coaches, pastors, business people and speakers.
Pivotal People
Susan Binkley: Reuniting Families and Restoring Lives
Meet Susan Binkley, the author of "From My Front Row Seat: A Collection of Stories from My Time Working Alongside Women in Recovery."
For the past two decades, Susan Binkley has been faithfully working to restore the lives of women and their children who have suffered from trauma, addiction, and abuse. In the mid-90s, Susan had a powerful, God-given dream that described in great detail how one might put together a program like Blue Monarch. At the time Susan realized this dream was like no other, but she didn’t understand the significance of it until years later when the dream miraculously came together in real life. Blue Monarch’s long-term, residential treatment program is unique in its dual focus on both the mother’s and the child’s recovery, creating a path toward lasting transformation and freedom from destructive cycles. Through the power of faith, prayer, and community, Susan has witnessed nearly 1,000+ women and children find healing, with over 350 children reunited with their mothers, who had previously lost custody.
In addition to its holistic recovery program, Blue Monarch empowers women through its on-site business, Out of the Blue Granola, a hand-crafted product distributed in major grocery chains like Whole Foods and Publix. All of the women who work to craft the Out of the Blue products are graduates or residents of Blue Monarch and each package of granola has a card with the testimony/picture of a Blue Monarch graduate enclosed.
Connect with Susan:
https://www.bluemonarch.org/
Learn more about the story:
https://www.bluemonarch.org/how-we-got-started
Follow Susan on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/susanbinkleyauthor/
Order the book:
https://www.amazon.com/Front-Row-Seat-Collection-Alongside/dp/1957616288
Order Stephanie's new book Imagine More: Do What You Love, Discover Your Potential
Learn more at StephanieNelson.com
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I'd like to welcome Susan Binkley to the Pivotal People podcast. She is a number of things. She's an author of a new book called From my Front Row Seat, a collection of stories from my time working alongside women in recovery, and you know I've read her whole book. I was talking to her before we started. It's a beautiful book of real people stories that is so inspiring and really eye-opening about an issue I didn't fully understand. My pastor always says what breaks your heart? Well, if we don't understand topics, we don't have an opportunity for our heart to be broken, and the idea of what breaks your heart is how can I help? Is there something I can do to step in? So I would really encourage people to read this book and to learn more about the reality of what some women are going through. Let me tell you about Susan.
Speaker 1:In 2003, she founded Blue Monarch. It's a nonprofit long-term residential recovery program for women and their children. For the past 20 years, she has continued to serve as its president as well, working alongside nearly a thousand women and their children as the women learn to live and parent sober. The organization has a wide range of services. They address everything from spiritual growth to work to help residents find freedom from addiction and healthy independence. They also make this granola, which the residents make and earn an income. It's called out of the blue granola and I'm going to call it out of the world granola. She was so kind to send us some. It is delicious. It's an all natural, high quality product that's hand-baked using local wildflower honey so residents learn valuable skills while they're also earning income.
Speaker 1:I've done too much talking. She has been in so many different media outlets talking about her program and her book. She has received so many awards humanitarian awards, as she should but what's exciting is that she's continuing this ministry and, I believe, making it broader by writing this book and getting it out to the world. So, susan, thank you so much for being here. I can't wait to talk more about what your program is.
Speaker 2:Oh well, thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I've looked forward to this.
Speaker 1:Well, tell us a little bit about take us back. Your bio says that you started Blue Monarch in 2003. You just didn't wake up one day and say I'm going to start this incredible nonprofit. What was your process of your heart being broken? What prompted this?
Speaker 2:Well, I definitely didn't wake up and decide I wanted to do this. But well, it actually started from a powerful dream that I had one night. And in 1995, I had just married my third husband. We had met at our 20th year high school reunion and we had a surprise wedding four months later. And so I don't know why God I guess God waited on that timing for, like, okay, finally, you're going to settle down, so now let's get down to business. And so at that time I was a full-time artist, I ran a horse farm and I had absolutely no experience in social work or addiction or recovery or anything like that.
Speaker 2:But I had a powerful dream one night, and in this dream I was required to sit at a big table and read a thick book that described in great detail how you would put something like Blue Monarch together. It described how you would solve problems, how you would structure it, and it even described how the women would be employed by producing a product. So when I woke up the next morning, I referred to it immediately as wow, that was a powerful dream, because I knew that it was a powerful dream. But I was convinced that I had intercepted someone else's powerful dream because it had nothing to do with me. And it had nothing to do with me and it had nothing to do with anything I knew anything about, and it was all about helping women and children, and, honestly, both really got on my nerves. I thought groups of women were annoying and I only liked my one child, and so, thankfully, god has since healed me of that. But so I really didn't see the connection. Why would I have a dream like that?
Speaker 2:And then, a couple of years later, we moved to where we live now, and when we drove through a little town on the way to where we have a home now, I couldn't believe what I saw, because I saw this high school building that was being abandoned, and I remembered seeing that exact building in that powerful dream. And so at that point I thought, oh my goodness, what is about to happen here? And so in my mind I decided it's because I need to let someone out there know that they can use that building for the plan that was in my dream. And so I made a lot of phone calls. No one cared anything about that, but it's amazing how that building actually played a big role later.
Speaker 2:But as I really started struggling with what am I going to do now that we've moved? I opened up a bakery and coffee shop, which was crazy, because I didn't know how to bake anything. And so I opened up a bakery and a coffee shop, and that's actually where I got really introduced to the population that we serve, because I had so many women coming to me for jobs and they weren't able to keep their jobs very long because of the things they were struggling with at home, and so it really was an introduction into some of the issues that women are struggling with especially. Well, they're everywhere, not just here. I will never forget it, because I was lying in the hammock out on the bluff where we live, on the Cumberland Plateau in Tennessee, and so I was lying in the hammock and I was thinking, how can we increase our business when we have such a small space?
Speaker 2:And I started thinking, wouldn't it be great if we could offer jobs to some of the women that are struggling so much? And then I really went down this rabbit trail of you know wouldn't it be great if they could live there and it would be a safe place, and wouldn't it be even better if they could have their children with them? And then, all of a sudden, it hit me wait a minute. That's exactly what that powerful dream was about, and so I would love to say that I jumped up and down and said, yes, lord, this is great. But the truth is, I cried about it for three days because I just thought what in the world? Surely you're not asking me to do this, surely not. And so I really called it my three days in the belly of the fish, because I struggled with it so much and I cried about it. And then it's something that my 17 year old daughter said at the time, and she said mommy, you know, you can tell God now, and he won't love you any less than if you say yes, wow, which was a game changer.
Speaker 2:And so at that point I just thought, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to do this, even though this sounds like a crazy idea, because I don't know what I'm doing. And then I started on just this amazing I mean, it was an incredible journey of only 10 months, from the moment on the hammock to the day that we opened our doors on a million dollar piece of property oh, my goodness, the open Blue Monarch. And now that I've run a nonprofit for 20 years. That seems even more unbelievable to me that it would come together so quickly, so that, building all the trips that I've walked through that vacant building, I ended up meeting a really nice gentleman from Atlanta, and he and his wife wanted this to happen. And so, even though I was a perfect stranger with an ambitious plan on paper, they wanted to help me.
Speaker 2:And so it turned out that I found this incredible piece of property that was a bed and breakfast, and the people were moving out of the country and wanted to sell it, completely furnished. And so I sat down with them and I said OK, I want to tell you what I have in mind. And I told them about my dream and everything. And the woman got really tearful and she said you know, we always knew that God wanted us to build this place for someone else to use one day, and we always thought that it would be for women who are hurting. And so we're just glad that you finally showed up. And so that's when I realized, oh my gosh, this is really going to happen. And so the gentleman that I met, he and his wife, they offered to borrow the million dollars and let us make the note payment, even though I was just a stranger with a big old plan on paper. And so that was 21 years ago, and now we've served almost a thousand women and children.
Speaker 2:So it's been an incredible journey that I never expected.
Speaker 1:Well I think we would all say, wow, talk about humility and honesty. I so appreciate you being honest about the struggle to say wait a minute, this isn't for me to do, I'm not capable of this. Wait, can't someone else do this? And I'm thinking about that couple who offered to help you. They clearly saw your heart because, yes, people might have skills, they might have organizational skills, but if you don't have the heart for the cause, you're not going to make it through all the challenges you've had over 20 years.
Speaker 1:I cannot imagine. One of the things that struck me about your story was this whole idea of learning for me. Okay, I said I've learned about a topic I wasn't very familiar with. When we talk about people who are struggling with addiction, it's not just addiction, it's domestic abuse, it's economic issues. I can't leave because I have a child and I have no money and I have to. It's so complicated. And that is where we, you know, hear the terms generational poverty or generational trauma. You know how do you break that? So your program operates on two levels. This is what struck me you are serving the mothers who are struggling with this, while you are serving the children and giving them opportunities that they probably wouldn't have had otherwise, and that's breaking the cycle, giving them a new future. So I want to ask you could you share one story with us? You know one story of one of your residents where you saw this change with both generations.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, one of the things that I always remember is one of our very first residents she had been taught to use. Well, this is very common actually. We see a lot of women who were taught to use drugs by a parent or grandparent, and we also see a lot of women who were sold to buy their drugs, like they used them as preteens as a commodity to support their own drug addiction. And so that was the case with this mom, and so I remember, you know, one of the things that we see quite often is that women show up and they don't really have a bond with their children because they don't. They never had the childhood that they wanted. And just really, you know, everyone wants that and everyone wants a parenting figure who guides them, and so many of the women who come here never had that, and so it's almost like they can't become a mom because they are still wanting to be the kid. So they show up a lot of times all acting like siblings. The mother's not really a mother figure and the child a lot of times assumes that mother role.
Speaker 2:And so I remember that this particular mom, her mother, taught her to use math when she was 14. And I had a conversation with her mom one time and she said you know, sometimes I feel like you're giving me a bad name as a mom. And I said well, how do you explain teaching her to use meth when she was only 14 years old? And she said well, if I had known it was her first time, I wouldn't have done it. And I thought isn't that interesting that that's the justification for her.
Speaker 2:But so this mom, when she showed up, had two little girls and they all acted like siblings. No one was. She wasn't really acting like a parent. And after they had been here about 10 months, I remember seeing one of her daughters was playing with those little word magnets that you can put on your refrigerator and she was going mommy, mommy, mommy, look at this word, look at this word. And my first thought was she's going to lose patience with this, she's going to be upset like shut up. And she leaned down and she took that word magnet and she said she said that word is beautiful and that's what you are. And that's when it hit me is oh my gosh, that cycle has been broken now.
Speaker 1:Cause I gosh.
Speaker 2:I promise you, she never heard anything like that from her own mother.
Speaker 2:So for her to learn to say that and to have developed a nurturing bond with that child for the first time, then I knew, okay, we have crossed over.
Speaker 2:But what you were talking about earlier I really feel like you know, we serve the mom and a lot of times I feel like we break that cycle.
Speaker 2:But it was about the third year and if you've read my book, you remember that there was a kind of an earth shattering event that I had in our third year that showed me that we need to focus on the children more. But I feel like that's where we have the greatest hope to break that cycle, because, to go through our entire program and our graduate program, it's possible that a child can be here with his mom for as long as three years. So if you take that little child's life a six year old, for instance, and that child is here for three years, we have an opportunity to completely change the perspective of that child and what that child considers as normal. And so what we're seeing is that it's working just like we want it to, because we've been able to reconnect with some of young adults now who lived with us as toddlers and they will say I want my children and grandchildren to live like I did at Blue Monarch, not the way we lived before we came there.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's so beautiful. And so today you must have some of those children. Have they made it to college? Have they they're working? Tell us some of those stories. That's what I loved in your book.
Speaker 2:Well, we had a real exciting situation that happened last summer. We had a college intern who worked here for the summer and she lived with us as a four-year-old and now her degree is in family and children's studies and something like that. So she definitely had a real life background that made that a good fit for her. But it was so exciting I mean I can't describe to you how much fun it was to come to work and see her working here.
Speaker 1:Oh, I bet, oh, my goodness, and so do you have a full-time staff person now, who used to be a resident?
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness. We have nine on our staff now who have been through our program. Our program director is someone who was here the very first year, and then our executive director is also someone who graduated from our program and then we also have I mean, we have some amazing rock stars on our staff and I'm so proud of them. But there's great value in hiring the women who come out of our program because they understand the culture, they understand the struggle, the journey and it's great inspiration for the women in our program to look around and see all these success stories walking around.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. How do women originally come to you? Do they get referred or do they know?
Speaker 2:Well, it's usually word of mouth, but most of the women who come to us come out of jail, and so a lot of times they have ended up in jail because of a drug addiction, criminal lifestyle, and then they've also, as a result, lost custody of their children, and so when they come to Blue Monarch, one of the things that we really focus on, we don't just focus on the mom's recovery, we focus on the child's recovery as well, but we also teach mothers to parent sober, and a lot of times it's the first time that they've done that, and they've never even observed a healthy mom.
Speaker 2:They didn't grow up in a home with a healthy mom, and so I think it was around that same time, about the third year, when I realized if we don't teach women how to parent their children sober, then that's going to be the biggest trigger for relapse when they leave, because they won't be able to cope with the stress of being a single mom, and a lot of the kids that we see have over the top behavioral issues as well, and so, because of our really rich parenting program, over 350 children have been reunited with their mothers who had lost custody.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that is so wonderful. You said over a thousand mothers. How many people can you accommodate at once? And tell us a little. You've referred to the program being three years. You kind of walk us through what the program is specifically for both the moms and the kids and how long it lasts. I mean it's not three years for everyone.
Speaker 2:No, it's individually designed, you know, because it took me a while to realize that when they walk in the door they're not at the same place. So how could they, how could you expect them to all be at the same place in 12 months, for instance? And so it's all individually based. But the core program that we have is more community living, and even though they have their own bedroom and their own bath and that kind of thing, it's still living in community every day and we treat every single day as a work day.
Speaker 2:I mean, we pack a lot into their time here because we feel like we've got basically a lifetime to rewire, and so the core program is around 18 to 24 months approximately, and we can have 16 families right now in that core program and most of the women that we have, the average is two to three children per mom, so that's a lot of kids.
Speaker 2:So the core program is like 18 to 24 months kids. But so the core program is like 18 to 24 months, and then, once you graduate from that, we're very fortunate to have a graduate community on our property where then they move into their own house with just their children and adjust to gradually adjust to some independence with their job or school or both, and we kind of walk alongside of them like help them with their job or school or both. And we kind of walk alongside of them like help them with their budget and help them with you know how do they manage their social media and you know, just trying to kind of help them in that transition where they don't act like a kid going off to college for the first time and just completely go off the rails and so that has been super successful. So that program, that extended program, is approximately an additional year.
Speaker 1:Okay, so whatever happened with that high school building?
Speaker 2:Let me tell you what's interesting is that when I went to the city council meetings for four months to get permission to use that building, they kept saying why would we want to put those women and children in there when something better might come along? And so they never would let me have permission to use it. And so through the years it's mostly been vacant. They've not really done much with it and they are offering some courses right now, classes that are helpful, actually helpful for even the population that we serve. But it turned out it was a good thing. I think it was a vehicle for me to meet the gentleman. That's how I met him, is through a connection with my interest in that building and that's how someone introduced me to him. So I do believe it played a critical role. But that's not where we are located, and I'm glad now because we have a much better property. It's out in the middle of the country, it's beautiful, we have 108 acres and it's way better than a vacant high school building.
Speaker 1:Much more peaceful, Isn't that interesting? That's a good lesson in. You know, stepping stones right, that connection that you made just by your interest in the building, which turned out not to be the best option for you, but you met the person who made your better option possible.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think that sometimes people don't have an open mind. You know, like I could have just kept fighting it, you know, kept going back and back, again and again, until I just forced them to let me do that. And I'm glad that I didn't push it, you know, because I feel like you. I'm glad that I walked down that path, but I believe that it did turn out to be a valuable stepping stone, but not the final destination.
Speaker 1:Yes. So I always have to ask this question why did you write this book now? And this book, by the way, you've been writing all along. These are your blog posts that you so these are actual stories over all these years that you've been writing that you were able to compile into a really good book. Really interesting, because I love people's stories I think we all do but why the book now?
Speaker 2:You must have a hope for this, well, I really felt like when we were approaching our 20th year. It felt like a really appropriate time to do that, and I really thought that I would just put all my blog posts in a book. And little did I know that I had twice as many stories as could fit in a book, and so that was. The first challenge is to try to weed out what do I leave out, because I felt like every story was really powerful. But I wanted to put together a collection that really showed the journey of how Blue Monarch has developed into such a successful program, but also to honor the women that we serve and their journeys, and to not water down their experience. So I do feel like the book is very raw and authentic in a way that a lot of times, social media is not, for instance, but I feel like it honors their journey because it's such an incredible struggle for them and I admire them. I think they're the most courageous women on the planet, and so it's really just been a privilege to be able to share their journeys but also to show.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I feel like abuse and addiction start feeling like a life sentence, and I don't believe that. I believe that you can be healed from both. We believe that you can find total freedom from addiction, that you don't have to white knuckle your addiction the rest of your life. And I see that I mean we see people completely healed. You could put their drug of choice in front of them and they wouldn't even be tempted, and then to just see families restored that looked hopelessly broken. You know, those are things that I hope to inspire others, because those are just examples of struggles. You know there are plenty of other kinds of struggles that people experience, but they can also experience the same healing and restoration that we see. So you can see why I love this book because you're just so.
Speaker 1:you're just being so honest and I have to ask you in your experience, have you have other people in other parts of the country seen what you're doing and use this as a model to start something in their communities?
Speaker 2:Well, honestly, I bet we get approached every other day from similar ministries.
Speaker 2:I mean, even an organization in Canada reached out to us last year and what we do is just really incredibly unique because we focus on the child's recovery as much as the mom's and also the sober parenting, and so there's a huge demand for what we do and we've been highly successful.
Speaker 2:So, yes, we have all kinds of people reach out to us and so through the years we've tried to figure out how, how do we manage that?
Speaker 2:And so we finally decided that, instead of us just going around the world setting up blue monarchs all over the place and trying to manage that monster setting up blue monarchs all over the place and trying to manage that monster that we would do better to train other people to do what we do and do it well. And so right now we don't really have the capacity, the time or the resources or the space to do that for a lot. So every year we kind of handpick one or two organizations to mentor and train, but we're in the process of building a big 24,000 square foot multi-purpose building, and not only is that going to solve a whole lot of our operational challenges, but I think that's going to be so great because it will provide an excellent space for us to hold workshops where we can share our experiences with others, because there's no need for other people to have to learn lessons the hard way if we've already done that and figured it out. So we love to be able to equip other people to do what we do.
Speaker 1:First of all, in the world of addiction and recovery, generally speaking, the relapse rate is extremely high, but you have a very low relapse rate, and you know this because you're personally involved with all of these. Do you have any sort of? Have you ever done a number, or would you just rather not look at it that way?
Speaker 2:Well, we actually don't look at a relapse rate. To us, sometimes relapse is almost part of the process and, unfortunately, with fentanyl in the picture, you don't really have that luxury at a relapse rate. To us, sometimes relapse is almost part of the process and, unfortunately, with fentanyl in the picture, you don't really have that luxury anymore because fentanyl will kill you and whereas before you know you could almost count on someone. Maybe they might relapse, but the tools that they gained here would help them get back on their feet and then they don't do that anymore. You don't do that anymore. You don't have that opportunity anymore because the fentanyl will kill you, could potentially kill you. But what we look at, we like to measure a year after they have graduated from our program and completed our you know all the way through our graduate program, have they gone back to jail? Have they lost custody of their children? Do they have a place to live? Do they have a job? Are they in school? And it's insanely high, sometimes it's 100% success rate.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness. And so we don't really look at relapse, because I feel like that's not even a true measuring number, because unless you're in a controlled environment and you're going to test them yourself and expect them to be honest about it, I don't really know that that's a reliable figure, but it will be reflected in these other issues and so it's really really. It's really in the right now. It's probably in the high 90% success.
Speaker 1:That is really helpful. I really appreciate that. That's what I'm talking about Learning about something that you knew nothing about. So here's my question this might not be what every, but what everyone would be capable of doing. However, anyone who's still listening to this is probably asking them the question what am I called to do? How would you encourage others to step out and get involved in helping those who are in need, and helping something that's breaking their heart?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, one of the things that has really struck me through the years is when I go out and speak to a group, a lot of times I look out in the crowd and I'll see people in tears. But it's interesting because it's almost like I can distinguish between the ones who are tearful because of what I'm saying, because they're moved by the story, or the ones who are tearful from regret, and so afterwards it's been really almost heartbreaking how many people have come up to me afterwards and they will say I just really am so regretting the fact that I feel like I was being called by God to do something and I resisted, and now I regret that. And so I would really encourage people that when they feel that nudge, you know, to take that leap like just just do that trust fall, you know, because I don't really feel like I mean, even though this has been incredibly hard, I mean I've had my heart broken a million times. I mean there've been plenty of, I've probably cried a million tears, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world, and anything that I would have come up with to do with my life would pale in comparison to the blessings that I have received just through obedience and just blind faith, and so I just encourage people to not resist that, you know, because it's heartbreaking to me, so, to see people who are grieving over that decision, you know that resistance, and so I always tell them it's not too late, it's never too late, it's never too late, just go do it. And so so I would.
Speaker 2:Just, I really wish that people would not ignore the Holy Spirit as much as I think they do. You know, because, and even dreams, you know, like this all came from a dream. Well, what if I had just decided I had too much pizza? You know, like, like, look at, look at what, what. Not only that I would have missed out on, but you know, almost 1000 women and children as well.
Speaker 1:So this is why I've said this before. This is why I am so thankful for this podcast, Because I didn't know Susan before. Her publicist sent me her book and said would you have her on the podcast? Well, the answer is always yes, yes because I want to meet her.
Speaker 1:I want to hear the story and I always read every page of every book, because if someone's going to take the time to talk to me, I want to know their whole story. But I am the one who's blessed by reading and learning. And then, when you're done reading this book, you're like I can't believe it. I get to talk to the person who wrote this book, who had this experience for half an hour. I mean, if you were speaking to a group of 500 people, there would be a line of people waiting to talk to you and they would only get a minute with you, and I'm so thankful to you for giving me half an hour.
Speaker 2:I really am Well. I appreciate you reading the book. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Oh, everyone should, Everyone should. It's available on Amazon and everywhere. Again, it's called From my Front Row Seat a collection of stories from my time working alongside women in recovery and I would encourage everyone to read it. And you know, Susan, I keep saying to my husband I don't know what's next, I don't know what's next, and maybe I'm just not listening. Like I loved it when you said you don't have to come up with it. Yeah, you don't have to come up with it. I don't have to read some book about, you know, leadership and blah, blah, blah. I can just start paying attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and getting rid of the noise and clutter. I think that sometimes we miss a whole lot of dialogue because we fill it with other things, and I'm guilty of that myself, but there's no telling what we miss when we do that Well, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:I think a lot of people listening appreciate it too. And other than ordering the book, how can people find you and learn more about Blue Monarch, which I'm quite certain is accepting donations?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, we don't seek any government funding and so we're all privately funded. So, yes, we always welcome donations, but BlueMonarchorg will get you everywhere. It'll connect you to our social media and show ways that you can volunteer. You can. You know, we usually have a list of donated items that we might need, so that's a great way to just connect with us.
Speaker 1:Well, that's great. Well, thank you so much, and I just wish you the best of luck in the next 20 years.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I'm looking forward to it. There's no telling what's up.
Speaker 1:There's no telling. You're open to it. You have a great day, thank you.
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