Pivotal People
Join us in conversations with inspiring people doing amazing things. Their insights and experiences help motivate all of us to find our purpose that fits with our abilities, gifts and life situation. Get a "behind the scenes" look at successful people making a difference in the world and benefit from their advice for the rest of us. Our guests include authors, artists, leaders, coaches, pastors, business people and speakers.
Pivotal People
Honor Thy Mother: A Son's Journey Through Dementia Care
David Dingess shares his deeply personal journey of caring for his mother through her Alzheimer's diagnosis and the complex realities of elder care. This conversation explores how faith, compassion, and surrender became essential tools when confronted with circumstances beyond his control.
• Recognizing early signs of Alzheimer's can be difficult, especially when eccentric personality traits mask cognitive decline
• Elder financial abuse devastated David's mother's savings when a "friend" gained control of her accounts and turned her against her son
• Legal preparation through power of attorney documents and consultation with elder care attorneys is crucial before cognitive decline progresses
• The principle "you can't argue with irrational" helped preserve their relationship during difficult interactions
• Transitioning a parent to assisted living requires balancing their desire for independence with safety concerns
• Professional caregivers demonstrate extraordinary compassion and become emotional anchors for both patients and families
• Prayer became David's essential coping mechanism, deepening his relationship with God through this challenging season
• The wisdom "don't try to whip your daddy" taught David to stop fighting God's plan and surrender to the journey
If you're caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, David's book "I've Got My Gun" shares his complete story and the lessons he learned along the way. To summarize David's top 10 lessons:
Follow your calling
When you feel compelled to do something deep inside, listen—it’s a sign of purpose.
Share your story
Facts may be debated, but your personal experience carries an unshakable truth.
Look for grace in hardship
Even in struggle, notice the repeated moments where help, love, or faith show up.
Face reality with courage
Naming the truth, even when it hurts, is the first step to wise action.
Balance honor with safety
Sometimes caring well means making hard choices that protect someone despite their protests.
Ask for expert help early
Complex challenges require guidance—don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed.
Trust unexpected openings
When doors open in unlikely ways, see them as more than coincidence.
Let hardship transform you
Trials can deepen compassion, strengthen faith, and grow resilience.
Don’t argue with irrational
Preserve relationships by stepping away when emotions or confusion take over.
Surrender control
Stop wrestling with the way things “should” be—trust that God’s way may be better.
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I'd like to welcome my friend David Dingus back to the Pivotal People podcast. He's a prolific writer. I've lost count, David, of how many times you've been willing to spend time with us At least a few because every time David writes a new book, he's kind enough to come on and give us insight. So David has been a friend of ours for years I want to say maybe 25 years. We met each other when we were randomly put together in a small group at church and to this day we're good friends with him and his wife, Cindy, and it's been fun to see him over the past several years now become a writer.
Speaker 1:Today we are talking about his new book, which is a little bit of a departure from his past books. His past books have been, I would liken them to Bible studies and devotionals. This book is a deeply personal book about an experience he has had taking care of his mother as she has become older. So, David, I want to thank you for writing this book. As I said before we started, I believe it's his best book. It is interesting and heartfelt and I think it will teach all of us a lot about how to honor our parents at the same time as trying to take good care of them. So, David, welcome. I appreciate you being back.
Speaker 2:Well, thanks for having me. Well, like I said, I think this is my third time and I actually can't believe you've let me on here three times. So I appreciate that it's awesome. So I love your podcast. It's good, it's great. Well, thank you, and.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you taking the time. Why don't we, for folks who might not have listened to the previous episodes, tell us a little bit about yourself and then why you wrote this book and why you wrote this book, and I'm letting you share the name of the book.
Speaker 2:Well, I've got my start with writing through basically teaching Bible study lessons at church, so I guess I've really been a writer all along. I never really thought of myself as a writer because I was just preparing Bible study lessons, but I always wrote them down. So COVID kind of pushed me over the edge to actually publish my first book. So ever since then I guess it's become an obsession. I'm like I have to write. It's not like I choose to, it's like I have to, I'm compelled to write. So anyway, yeah.
Speaker 2:So everything else has been kind of Bible study related. This one is definitely different, about my mother's experiences with Alzheimer's and my experiences with her and all the things that we had to go through. It's definitely different, and the reason that I kind of wrote it is I didn't really intend to write anything. You know you hear about, you know sharing your faith and things like that, right, it's like so what do they say? People can disagree with what you believe in, right, but they can't argue with your story. So this is my story of my mom's and my journey with Alzheimer's care, and it was first about my mom and it was about me. But most of all it's about how God showed up time and time and time again. So he is the central figure of the story, not my mom or me. So that's what I hope comes through in the book.
Speaker 1:It did come through. And what also came through for me was just how honest you were about you didn't sugarcoat anything and my parents didn't go through this journey, so I didn't realize all of the complexity of walking with someone through this. And just to give a little bit of background, david is an only child and his mother lives locally and you've always been close to your mother, so could you talk about kind of the beginnings of the story, walk us through when you began to suspect that maybe something wasn't quite right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a good question, because it was a difficult process to kind of notice that. Because in the book I talk about my mom's eccentricities. She's always been a little odd, does things a little strange, gives strange gifts to people. So when things started happening that were unusual, it just got chalked up to oh well, that's just mom. She's eccentric and you know. She does things that are kind of weird, and you know. So you don't think about it. And when you're close to somebody and you talk to them often or see them often so you know, like I did with my mom, we talked probably every week or see them often. So you know, like I did with my mom, we talked probably every week you don't see the incremental changes until something all of a sudden happens that you can't ignore. So that's kind of the brief rundown, but you know, and then once things really were noticeable it changed rapidly.
Speaker 1:And what I related to, and we experienced this with our parents. My husband, all four of our parents are gone now, but with each of them we kind of had a sense. When you are in your case, you were trying to be respectful of your mother. You know biblically, you were trying to honor your mother. You didn't have control over her situation, but you did feel you had responsibility. That's a pretty complicated mix and so, as you started to suspect that something was wrong, there was another layer of what I'm going to call elder abuse. Could you share that story, because certainly at the outset it didn't look like elder abuse.
Speaker 2:Exactly, my mom met a friend or a person randomly at Walmart and they struck up a friendship and it seemed okay at the beginning. I had him checked out and, you know, met him a few times and seemed helpful. You know nothing wrong. But then, as time went along, things changed. As my mom's memory started to worsen, he gradually gained control of her financial situation.
Speaker 1:And this is just to clarify she's still living on her own in her own home. Everything seems fine. This is just her friend, Right? He's trusting as a friend.
Speaker 2:Yeah right. So what I didn't know until later, and kind of as it unfolds, is in the background. He's working to turn her against me, to make me look like the bad guy, and so somehow he convinced her to basically turn over her entire assets to him access to bank accounts, brokerage accounts and she locked me out, wouldn't let me see it, wouldn't let me in. So yeah, that's a pretty big red flag that we got some issues, because my previously normal mother would have never done anything like that. So yeah, I had some problems and never could get really any help.
Speaker 2:We had doctor's appointments and doctor visits and they couldn't see it. There was an incident with the police. They somehow couldn't see it. My mom was real good at what I call the game face For about 30 minutes. If somebody was talking to her, she can keep it together and put on a good act, and she would. You know she could do that and not let the outside world know that she was having some problems. So yeah, it was a struggle let's put it that way, mildly a struggle.
Speaker 1:And so tell us about the day that your mother finally agreed. I mean, you were just curious, Like Mom, what's going on with your finances. She finally agreed to let you go to the bank with her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and of course my Aunt Diana was instrumental in that. She always had great sway with my mom.
Speaker 1:Your mother's sister.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she moved back into town after many years of being in Florida and so they grew close again. And so it was her talking to my mom to help her, convince her to let us take her to the bank. And we finally get her to the bank and she agrees to let us look into her bank accounts and when we get to see what's going on basically complete financial devastation All the money she had in her IRA was gone. Savings she had in her savings account was gone. I think she was down to I don't know roughly, I don't know $6,000 or $7,000 in her checking account and that was it. All the money was gone.
Speaker 1:And she was how old at that point.
Speaker 2:At that point, 80, I think 80. Yeah, so yeah, and she's. She was really just unaware, she had no idea until she saw the devastation, and she finally was faced with realizing that Clifford was not a nice guy, he wasn't her friend, and what's sad about it, though, is that within a couple of weeks, she had forgotten all that, and she was still trying to contact him. So that's the hold he had. It was a psychological hold he had over her that was hard to. It was easier to get him off the bank accounts than to remove the hold he had over her. He was hard to get rid of.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness. And so in the meantime, now you're realizing that your mother really does need some help. So what were the next steps for you after that?
Speaker 2:Well, the first thing was to get some power of attorney documents. You know, try to get things in place to be able to protect her because she had a power of attorney documents. You know, try to get things in place to be able to protect her, because she had a power of attorney document somewhere in her house, couldn't find it. So without that document you're really not able to help your parent who's incapacitated. So we had to quickly get some paperwork together to make sure that I could get her taken care of before her dementia increased so badly that then I don't know what would happen. That's probably even a bigger nightmare. So thank God that that didn't happen.
Speaker 2:So once I got the paperwork in place, it was a matter of actually getting her some help from a doctor. And you know, is this Alzheimer's? Is this something else? So you know, we finally got the doctor's appointment, we got the diagnosis, and so at least you know what you're dealing with. I mean, it's good news, bad news? At least you know, we know it's got a name. There's no more. Also, there's no more putting my head in the sand and saying, oh, she's going to get better. No, she's not going to get better, this is only going to get worse over time. And so, yeah, it kind of forced me to do things that I was kind of ignoring. You know, push things off, you know.
Speaker 1:So yeah, Well, you also had a situation and we can relate to this, like my husband and I when the parent does not want to move into assisted living. Of course, when you know so many older people just want to stay in their home, just want to stay in their home. So you have this kind of tension, as I said earlier, about wanting to honor your mother's wishes but also realizing that you need to save her from herself. I mean you need to get have the person's agreement. I read your book, david, and I'm like what a wonderful son that you continue to put your mom's best interest at the forefront and how to balance that so. Thankfully you had her sister who was able to help convince her to at least look at and consider an assisted living facility.
Speaker 2:Like you said, that was probably one of my biggest struggles, because and I wrote a chapter about this is honor your father and mother. That's a commandment. God tells us to honor our father and mother. And so I'm trying to balance honoring your parent, who's not of sound mind and who doesn't make good decisions, against doing what you have to do to keep her safe, because at some point things become a danger and she becomes a danger to herself and a danger to others, so you have to fall on the side of safety over her wishes. You know it is a struggle, you know, but honor your father and mother was kind of a guiding principle along this whole road. And yeah, she didn't want to go to assisted living but we kind of convinced her to give it a test run, kind of knowing that once we got her in she probably was never going to leave. And that's kind of what happened. She was in assisted living for about a week and the facility said pretty quickly, we, your mom needs to go to memory care, like higher level of care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, and that the details of that are all in the book. That was. It was quite an adventure.
Speaker 1:Well, and you know, as I said, because we haven't walked through that specifically. There are a lot of details and you said very clearly in your introduction that you know you do not profess to be an advisor or an expert, you're just sharing your story. But what I took away from it was number one. You said this a little bit earlier. As boring as it may sound to try to get ahead of that kind of paperwork, like the power of attorney and the conversations, while our parents are still of sound mind, you also had could you share with us? You had some help from an attorney.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So fortunately my wife, her cousin, is an attorney in real estate law and her mom had Alzheimer's and they kind of had gone through the same thing a couple of years before we were going through it. So I got a great recommendation on about an elder care attorney from another attorney. So it was like, ok, if, if she thinks this is a good, good attorney to do this, then that's who we're going to go with. And boy I tell you, you don't know what you don't know when navigating this. I mean, it's hard to fathom how much complexity there is. And if you've got an elderly parent going through anything, and not even doesn't have to be Alzheimer's, but just the general aging process, boy, you need to get in touch with an attorney and get some estate planning done, because there's just so many things I call them locusts, there's so many locusts. There's just so many things I call them locusts. There's so many locusts that want to eat away at finances and other things like that. Having an attorney is invaluable along the process.
Speaker 1:So, if you could be specific, because I'm always so flummoxed by all these different types of attorneys what specifically does an elder care attorney help you with?
Speaker 2:Well, anything revolving around elder care and what that estate planning looks like, because everybody's situation is so different, right? So there's people that have high net work, so there's more of an asset protection and what you want. You know your parent wants to leave to their children, in my mom's case, because she was basically destitute at that point because of the financial situation we had to navigate Medicaid, which you know pays for her nursing care home. So, every like I said, there's so many different scenarios, no-transcript good guidance from attorneys, medical professionals, because trying to do this on your own, I tried, tried it for a while and made a lot of mistakes, so part of that rightness was hopefully people can learn more from my mistakes than what I did, right.
Speaker 1:Well, and I appreciate you being honest about that because, like you said, you don't know what you don't know. So one of the things I really would like you to talk a little bit about because it was all new to me was the whole Medicaid thing. So okay, so David's mom, unfortunately. You know she had savings, she did the responsible thing and you've already heard the story. So now she's down to nothing, although David did work with managing her finances, so she built up a little more savings over a few months. But assisted living facilities, especially the memory care level, is really expensive, so it doesn't take long to drain your finances. And what you discovered was okay, medicaid will pay for nursing care at certain facilities not every facility, but it's not automatic. That's what opened my. Could you talk a little bit about the odds of getting approved for Medicaid?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, there's a lot of hurdles to jump through and again, getting the attorney, it's not cheap, but it was worth every penny, because if you don't do things right you could run out of money. And then also your parent doesn't qualify for Medicaid because you've done something wrong, and then they're living with you, a person who has we're not set up to handle Alzheimer's care. We, you know, we're just. It's just such a difficult thing and you know, personal relationships can get ruined and it's just too contentious. So my mom needed to be in a care facility. So it's just like I said, every situation is kind of different. The way I went with my mom, at least she had her house, so that fortunately, clifford did not get a hold of any, you know, equity in the house.
Speaker 2:So when she moved into assisted living, sold the house to pay for her care, and so I went on the side of.
Speaker 2:I want her close to me for as long as I can until her money runs out so I can go see her often. So that worked out for about a year and a half and then when the money ran out, then she goes on Medicaid and again that's a process. I'm sure I could navigate it eventually. But to be honest with you, I ran out of energy and time so I needed somebody to help me Well, plus the clock was ticking.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was actually nervous reading your book, david. I was like, is he going to make it so? I can't remember the number. What percentage of people are approved for Medicaid?
Speaker 2:Well, actually I don't know what the percentage of Medicaid is, but the facility that I chose for my mom, fountain View, down in Midtown Atlanta, they're selective, so you know they only have a certain number of beds in a facility. I don't know 240 beds in this facility and there's a lot of people that are going through Alzheimer's right. So we went through the process and you know it's a whole nother thing about getting her into Fountain View versus her memory care. That was a different move. As I was talking to the admissions guy, it was one of the things that where God really showed up in this, because I was so nervous, there was so much on the line and basically there was.
Speaker 2:There was no light at the end of the tunnel. It's like there's no way out. It's like I didn't have a plan B. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. It's like there's no way out. It's like I didn't have a plan B. There was no plan B. It's like this is it or else. And when I was in there talking to Melvin, who was my admissions guy, he was like you know, I can't believe how easy this process was for your mom. He's like you know, we only take about 10% of applicants here and I was like if I had known that beforehand.
Speaker 2:I mean, I was already a nervous wreck. I would have been a wacko knowing that there was that much on the line and all I've only got a 10% chance of my mom getting in. It's like that only had to be. God had to arrange those circumstances because I had no idea what I was doing Well and I'll tell you that's where.
Speaker 1:So you know, initially you had her at a facility that was near you and you did get to see her a lot for a year and a half, but that facility didn't accept Medicaid. So thankfully she got approved for Medicaid. But then she got into a facility that is in the metro area, I think it's probably, you know, half hour, 45 minute drive, but it is accessible. So you do still see her and you know we talked before we started recording. I don't know what year this whole process began, david, you know what year was it that you started to suspect? How long has this been going on for you?
Speaker 2:Well, the lead up was it was kind of like years long. I first got her Alzheimer's diagnosis in December of 2021. Alzheimer's diagnosis in December of 2021. There was a process of once I had the diagnosis, there was still a I don't know a year and a half process to eventually work on her and get her into a facility, the memory facility. Yeah, so it's a. It was a long, four or five years probably.
Speaker 1:Right, it's kind of a grind.
Speaker 2:Definitely it wears on you. One thing that God taught me in this, because I think the reason behind this, because we ask why, why does this have to happen? Why does this terrible disease happen? And I'm convinced that God engineered this to get to me because I wasn't terribly compassionate. So I've grown more compassionate and actually, probably the biggest thing is my prayer life has grown exponentially. Because I was forced to, I had no, I was like I got no options, I got no way out. The only thing I can do is spend time in prayer. That's all I can do. So over the course of the years it's like I mean I can't even imagine starting a day without spending some time with God.
Speaker 1:Just like in James, you know joy not that you know joy is a pretty loose term here but join our trials because they develop perseverance and maturity, because we've got a lot more things to face in our life, so that maturity is going to come in handy. David, one thing I appreciated about your story and I've actually I take like one every podcast I do there's a some phrase that pops out and I either write it on an index card or a post-it note and I try to remember it. And the one I have held on to from your book applies to all kinds of situations. Because your mother, as you said, had a good game face and seemed like she was pretty much okay, and then because she had this attitude that maybe you were against her. So you were kind of caught in this vicious cycle of what you called being irrational. She was irrational and she would get upset with you when you're presenting a perfectly reasonable idea.
Speaker 1:But instead of engaging in arguing with her, you continued to say in the book that you would say to yourself you can't argue with irrational, so you could recognize when it got to that point where no one's going to win this thing and you would remove yourself from the situation where no one's going to win this thing and you would remove yourself from the situation, you would leave and then, when you came back later, whenever it was, you were able to re-engage with your mother and I thought about wouldn't that be a great attitude for all of us to have in every conversation, when you get to a point that's divisive or emotional, or you know, you each have a separate point of view. No amount of debate is going to change it. Let's call that irrational. Let's say let me step away from this so I don't damage the relationship further.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean, I definitely live by that rule.
Speaker 2:It's like, yeah, you can't argue with irrational and I liken it to almost like when your parents get you know, really aged or they have Alzheimer's. It's almost like you're dealing with a six year old and it's that kind of irrationality where just things don't make sense to them anymore. I think like one of the things that that kind of struck me going through this is like so my mom has, her short-term memory is completely gone. It's like she can't remember five minutes in the past. So imagine a world where every minute is brand new. I mean, it's hard to wrap your head around that. It's like so okay, you're, you're living with these people in the facility and you meet them and you talk to them. Well, if you go back in your room and you come out five minutes later, it's like you've never met those people before. So every minute is like is a brand new situation and how frightening that can be and how paranoid.
Speaker 2:It is a sign of Alzheimer's that that creates they're already tense and that that you start trying to argue with that and then they get angry. It's not going toe to toe, it's not going to get you anywhere. It's like you're better off. Like you say, just let's, let's, back away. And then you know, sometimes some visits were great, we had great time, we could have you know talks and we could laugh. And then other times it's like this is not going anywhere. It's not good for my mental health. She's getting angry. It's like I'm just going to leave and I'll come back tomorrow and then tomorrow might be great. So you just have to kind of take the punches as they come Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or take the joy when you can find it, cause there are there's times of joy, you know there there are. So it wasn't completely just horrible. Like I said, I learned a lot and one of my favorite things that really caught my attention, probably said I kind of need to think about writing this as a book was one of my mom's friends in the first memory care place, nice guy Emery. He and my mom hit it off. They were thick as thieves, Great friends, spent every minute together. And Emery, he could talk. He was a friendly guy. He liked to talk to me when we'd come in. He'd talk about cars and his daughter was always coming to get him. He was going to go pick out a new car and whatever reason. He started talking about his dad and his dad was kind of a mean guy and so it was just kind of interesting. And he just looked at me and he said, david, don't ever try to whip your dad.
Speaker 2:And it hit me in that moment. It's like the whole time for years I've been trying to engineer this circumstance of my liking while I was fighting the influence of God in the way he wanted it to work out, and it's like that completely changed my outlook. It's like you know what Talk about. It's like wisdom from the mouths of babes, because that's what they're like. They're like children and it's like don't try to whip your daddy. And how often do we do that? I mean, we still do. It's like well, I want this to work out my way. Well, when you do that, you're really wrestling with God. You're fighting with God, so that's kind of a that was a big life lesson Don't try to whip your daddy.
Speaker 1:Don't try to whip your daddy. Now, that is such a Southern thing that's. I love that. So now, where are we today? Where are we today with your mother and going forward? What is your outlook?
Speaker 2:Well, eventually, right, I mean Alzheimer's is going to take her eventually. It's not, it's not if, but when she's 83 years old and she's reasonably in good physical health.
Speaker 1:She likes where she is.
Speaker 2:Like is a relative term.
Speaker 2:Some days she likes it, some days not so much, but she's, she's relatively content where she is. The caregivers there they take great care, they care about the people they work with and couldn't be more pleased with actually both places. She was in her memory care first and then the Alzheimer's facility second. The caregivers I think I write about it in the book. It's like they're my heroes. It's like I don't see how they do it because I couldn't do it and they absolutely we've.
Speaker 2:I've met some of the sweetest, nicest, kind, god-loving, mostly women that take. There are some men that just that, just care. It's like you can tell they don't. It's not just the job, it's like to do that. It can't be just the job because there's there's a lot of heartbreak for them too. When my mom left her first memory care facility after being there for a year and a half, we had to move her. It's like the ladies. I'm kind of getting emotional about it. They were just tears, like you know, hugs from my mom. They get to know people and it's like it's a hard thing for them too, right, because they're losing people. So they're my heroes. Caregivers are definitely top of my list.
Speaker 1:You did talk about that a lot in your book and obviously it's such a blessing that you can feel that way and that you can see it, because you're there a lot. So you see that your mother is being well cared for and loved not just cared for but loved and that's a special kind of person, because we know they're not paid a lot of money. To think that there are people who are called to do that is just really something to be so thankful for and I'm glad she's in that situation. And you still see, you still get the phone calls. Things will go wrong. We talked earlier. His mother broke her shoulder, she had a fall and David is the one taking her to the doctor's appointments and helping her get back on track. Thankfully you're local.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically we're almost in cruise control, where generally things are pretty smooth. I don't have to worry about her safety. I know she's being taken care of. If something does happen, it's a nursing care facility. She broke her shoulder. They immediately get her an ambulance, get her to the hospital. So I know she's going to be well cared for. But there's always a what's next, something else, like the thing with the fraud. It continues to linger. There's things that keep coming up, but it's as good as it can be. I think right now and again it's like a lot of time in prayer that never goes away. So that just gets me through every day in prayer.
Speaker 2:You know, I can't imagine, like I said, starting, not starting my day with prayer. And it's like I think, I think maybe my next goal is to not just start my day with prayer but maybe end my day with prayer too. And what the realization hit me. I was just thinking about this yesterday. The realization hit me on that is that you know, no matter how much time we spend in prayer like we can spend it in the morning, spend it at noon, spend it in the afternoon, spend it at night, and no matter how much time we spend in prayer, it doesn't change how much God loves us. He's going to love us the same, no matter what. But the more time I spend in prayer, the more I love him.
Speaker 1:Exactly. I love that, david. That's so true. And we haven't talked about the name of the book, and so I'm going to say this got my attention and there's a reason. Now that you've heard the whole story, here's where David was at the very beginning, when he first convinced his mother to give the assisted living place a trial, of just a trial just stay there a week and see if you like it. And her sister had had convinced her just to give it a try. And they've got her all packed up and she's sitting on her bed and it was finally time for her to leave her house and go to the assisted living place and she was scared. David, you tell us the rest of the story.
Speaker 2:Yes, so the title of the book is I've Got my Gun. I've Got.
Speaker 2:My Gun, got my Gun, and so that's the story. When we finally got her packed up and she's ready to leave, she's sitting on the edge of the bed and you know she's a little bit downcast, I can tell she's a little fearful. And I walk over to her and just look at her and say you ready for this, ready to go? And she looked at me kind of sad and she's like well, I guess, so I've got my gun. And she hands me a small pistol stuffed inside of an old sock and it's like well, you know, doesn't work like that, mom, you're going to be safe, because paranoia was a big thing. You're going to be safe, they're going to take care of you. Somebody's always there nearby. You need them. You know, don't worry, people can't get in, that don't belong there. They're going to take care of you. But she handed me the gun and of course, you course I had to figure out what to do with that. But she kind of resigned herself to get in the car and go with us.
Speaker 1:And it just gave me a glimpse and, okay, this is real fear. That was real for her. She was going to a place that she truly thought she needed a gun. So, david, you know, kudos to you for continuing to keep your relationship with your mother first priority through this entire thing, even when she didn't trust you, even when she was afraid, and you hung in there. And it's been about four or five years and now you can say, with tears in your eyes, you are thankful she is in a place with people who love her, taking care of her. You've gone through a really tough journey. In fact, in your book you say that this was the hardest trial you've ever had in your life.
Speaker 2:For sure.
Speaker 1:And I am thankful you wrote about it. I'll be honest with you, and I said this to my husband I couldn't put your book down. I read it in two sittings, and the only reason I read it in two sittings is because the first day I started too late and then it was like an hour past my bedtime and that's a disaster. So I emailed David immediately and said, oh my gosh, I'm halfway through your book. I have to go to bed now. But wow, you say you're not an expert.
Speaker 1:None of us are experts, but I think what you did with this book that I appreciate is you opened up your heart and you said this is a God story. You're showing God in your story and your vulnerability and whether our parents have Alzheimer's or something else, or whether it's a different family member, the way you walk through this applies to all of those situations. I think we can all learn from it. So we will have links in the show notes about how to find David, how to find his book. But you're going to be able to buy this book on Amazon and the title by the time it's published.
Speaker 1:It's not published yet, but when this airs it will be published. The title probably will be the same, but if not, we'll let you know. But I think that's the title that's going to get a few readers. I saw the title of that and I thought, oh my gosh, this is from the guy who's written all these Bible studies. What is this book? I've got my gun, but I joke. But I know it was really hard and emotional for you to write, so I want to thank you for it.
Speaker 2:It's going to help a so and like I said, I hope people see that the overarching story is that I was never alone. My mom was never alone. God was in control. Even when we can't see the control, he's there and even though we don't know what's going to happen, he does so. It worked out to his satisfaction. So we have to find peace in that.
Speaker 1:I'll take that. That's good. Thank you so much, David. And we will see you for your next book.
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