Pivotal People

How Small Daily Choices Can Transform Your Relationship

• Stephanie Nelson • Season 4 • Episode 129

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We sit down with Chelsea Smith to unpack simple daily habits that make marriage easier, warmer and more resilient, from releasing resentment to reframing our partner’s quirks as strengths. Practical questions, money talks without meltdowns and small spiritual rhythms offer a fresh path forward.

• why a devotional format creates daily momentum for marriage
• letting go of resentment before it hardens into distance
• replacing assumptions with questions and understanding
• using childhood stories to decode present patterns
• talking about money outside of crisis and labeling strengths
• reframing annoyances into complementary traits
• simple tools like notes, prompts and five‑minute check‑ins
• spiritual connection as a grounding, intimate practice
• resources to find the book and guided daily prayers

Get I Do Today wherever books are sold; find daily guided prayer free on the Churchome app or website. Follow Chelsea Smith on Instagram; search “Chelsea Smith” and “Churchome.”


Save 70%! Order Stephanie's book Imagine More: Do What You Love, Discover Your Potential

Learn more at StephanieNelson.com
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SPEAKER_00:

I would like to welcome Chelsea Smith to the Pivotal People Podcast. We were chatting a little bit before we started. I am so excited about her topic. I have read her book. She is really an interesting, thoughtful, insightful person. So if you spend a little time with us today, you are going to be so glad. Chelsea just wrote a devotional book and it's on marriage. And it's actually called I Do Today, a 52-week guide to the marriage you've been waiting for. So it's 52 devotional entries. I want to let you know I've done 34 so far. It is so good and so practical. And in addition to talking about the devotional, we're going to talk about the lessons that Chelsea's teaching us in this book, even before you buy the book. So that's a free bonus. Let me tell you a little bit about Chelsea. She is actually a pastor. You and your husband are pastors together for a digital platform called Church Home. It's a digitally based faith community and content platform. She's the lead theologian for Church Home, and she has a master's degree in theology from Fuller Seminary. And she and her husband, Judah, have three children. I'd like to say hello, Chelsea. Welcome and thank you for taking the time to be with us.

SPEAKER_01:

Ah, Stephanie, I'm so grateful to be here. And thank you for what you do, the work you do and the framework with which you do it of pivotal people and helping us make pivots. It's just, it's a really incredible work that you do. So I'm so honored to be a part and to be considered a pivotal person. That makes me so excited. So I think it's a first for me.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. Because I have to tell you, the best thing about doing this podcast is I really get to meet so many interesting people. And then I introduce them to my listeners. A lot of them are my friends. And they stop and they tell me, wow, Stephanie, I really liked hearing from so-and-so. I ordered the book. So there's a ripple effect here. But first, let's talk about you. Tell us a little bit about yourself and about this digital platform you and your husband have. And then we'll get into talking about why you wrote the book.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, I'm so excited. Well, um, as you mentioned, I'm married to Judah. He and we are just about to celebrate 26 years of marriage, which I feel which I feel like is my greatest accomplishment in life. And I'm I'm so proud of myself for that one. You know what? I don't know if we feel this way, but when birthdays come around, it's like, okay, I stayed alive for another year. But when an anniversary comes around, it's like, yes, we stayed married and still like each other for another year. So I would say um that is my my proudest accomplishment, followed a close second by my three children. We are in the transition to an empty nest season. Our sons are 21 and 19, and our daughter is 16. So we are like launching them into the world. And Stephanie, I just you have two adult sons. I am so you've done that. And right now it feels it feels like quite a challenge. And nobody told me that trying to get your kids to be adults is you know, is is what it is.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a lifelong process, Chelsea. There's really not a number associated with it. So don't think you have to hurry up and get it done in two years. It's a process.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you for that. Because it it I don't know, and I know this isn't what we're talking about, but it feels sometimes like two steps forward, a step back, or two steps back. And you know, so it's but I really love who my children are. I love them, but I also like them as they become adults. So that's also a very proud achievement of mine. And then uh for our church community, church home, it started as a traditional church, and then we realized, hey, we need to, you know, Jesus said go to the highways and the byways and compel people to come. That Jesus is so we we we love Jesus. He's my superhero zero, he's my best friend. And I we just feel like if people could see him and know him for who he really is, he's practically irresistible. And so the reality is as we were raising kids, like where are people? Where are the highways and byways right now? It is the digital highways and byways that we see people spending hours on every day. And so we can either lament about that, and there is some lament to be had for that, or we can use that, those highways and byways for good to bring the most incredible story ever told through the person of Jesus. And so that is a that's our church community and platform, and you know, working to build community and and daily discipleship through digital means. And so we've got Jude and I have had so much fun doing that. But 26 years of being married and working together and working, you know, being pastors, we get the incredible opportunity of being involved in a lot of people's lives on a really daily basis. And I feel like so often we're there for the highs and the lows. You know, we're there at, we're we're there at people's weddings, we're there at people's funerals, we're there when uh had too many times when people have decided to end a marriage or when somebody has to tell their spouse that they haven't been faithful to them and all of the journey that life and marriage brings for couples and individuals. And through that experience that Jud and I have been on, and I feel like my marriage is not only my proudest accomplishment, but what brings me so much joy and so much fulfillment in life, and seeing people want to have that joy, wanting to have that marriage, wanting to have that fulfillment, but not always knowing the practical daily habits that can give them the marriage that they really want and what they're really looking for. And I feel like there's so many incredible marriage curriculum out there. What my two favorites would be the five love languages or love and respect. And those are just good, solid principles of marriage that I think we all should have as a solid foundation. But what I found wasn't so easily out there was just practical, everyday habits and decisions. And what does a couple do on a Tuesday when they have a happy marriage? And what do they need to be doing on a Thursday to build towards a happy marriage? And so that is a lot of the process and the thought behind I do today and the work that this is is wanting to just give people this gift of here's what you do to have the marriage that you've been looking for, that you maybe you either you didn't think you could have or you didn't know how to get there. And so that's me. I feel like I just rambled on, Stephanie, about all of that. That's no, this is all my brain.

SPEAKER_00:

I said, Chelsea, I just want you to share your wisdom with us for half an hour. I'm sitting here listening to you and thinking, because I have done 34 of your devotions, that I don't want the listeners to assume that Chelsea is looking at marriage through rose-colored glasses. What I really appreciated about your devotional is how honest and authentic you are about what we all face in marriage. I've been married 35 years. It's not a competition. I just happen to be older than you. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_01:

No, but what is a competition is that you have a grandchild. I can't wait to get there.

SPEAKER_00:

There you go. I didn't I didn't have a lot to do with that. But what I like about a marriage devotional is that you said there's a lot of marriage curriculum out there, and we can all read a book on marriage and then we're done. And maybe we could pass a little bit of a quiz on it, but I don't know about you. I have forgotten the main points in a week. What I like about a devotional on a topic like this is that each day you get a bite-sized reminder of how to invest in pour into the most important relationship in your life outside of your faith. And that to me is kind of like the charging your phone battery, you know, doing that every day. And I have other marriage devotionals I've followed, and yours is different because it's more interactive. So, for example, you talk about a really relatable topic. Here's a title of one of them, Let Go of the Fantasy. I love Taylor Swift, but a lot of her songs could make you feel like, you know, you're not living a romantic enough life. Are you reading too many like sappy romance novels? Are you comparing your marriage to something that is not real? Let go of the fantasy. But then you have something, you have some questions, some really thought-provoking questions. Think about it is the section, and she'll ask three or four questions that make you think. And then you have talk about it, and then it's what you can talk about with your spouse, and then finally do something about it. So very simple, but I felt like with each topic, it just added a little bit to my arsenal of can I be a better wife today? You know, can I be a better friend to my husband? Can I be a little more patient? You have topics on letting go of resentment. Okay, let's be honest, all right? Let's so I I want people to understand that Chelsea, I think, really meets people where they are in this book. She's not making us feel like, oh my gosh, I don't have the perfect marriage. This woman does, and she wrote about it. No, she's gone through all this stuff. She's been married 25 years to a human being. Could you talk to us a little bit about what you were conveying in this section just on letting go of resentment?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. And thank you for bringing up the work of the book and saying the authenticity of it, because that is so much at the heart behind it, is that I have been married for 25 years and we walk through couples who see, have seen, who have this rose-colored glasses view of marriage. And then on the days when it gets hard, and the days when you wake up and you don't feel butterflies towards your spouse anymore because those days are going to happen. It can begin to feel like, did I marry the wrong person? Is this marriage not for me? And that can erode at our marriage. And so I had the incredible gift Judah and I both did of seeing our parents' marriages. My parents just celebrated 56 years of marriage this summer. And Judah's parents were married for 40 years before his dad passed away from cancer. And I got the incredible gift of seeing day in, day out, healthy marriage that was beautiful but not perfect and had its challenges. And Judah got to do the same thing. And I feel like, man, if I can take some of those things that we've learned and pass those on to other people and help give them a view of marriage and learn those everyday habits, man, I feel like we can give people a shot at having a better marriage than they would have had without it. And thank you for bringing up letting go of resentment. I mean, I do think resentment has to be, it's like, oh, do you ever, if I could give an analogy, you know, we have to, we're supposed to get our teeth cleaned every six months. And you go and you get it done. And oh, I don't tend to do it every six months. I tend to probably wait more nine months or a year. That six months comes up pretty fast in life. And and I will tell you, and this this mic, have you ever got done without teeth cleaning? And then you keep putting your tongue over your teeth because they feel so clean. And like I didn't realize that all that stuff had built up all over these last six months or nine months. And sorry, that's kind of a gross analogy.

SPEAKER_00:

By the way, she has beautiful teeth. Okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you. Uh, one is well, I have a fake one, but um, that was a fourth grade roller skating accident. It's it's that slow buildup that we it just begins to feel natural to us because it can just happen over time. But that resentment can can begin to erode and it can wreak havoc on our marriage. We're letting go of resentment, those little things. Oh, for me, one of the things I talk about often, and and my husband has given me permission to to tell all these all these stories about him is and he is a wonderful man. I'm grateful for him. But we are 26 years in and he still doesn't know how to put a dish in the dishwasher. I have given instructions. I've so just just let it be. And it is wild how that simple thing of a dish not going the dishwasher. And then I go and I see it. If I can play a story in my head, does he not, does he not care about me? Doesn't he know that this matters to me? Is he just expecting me to do this for him? It's like he's just saying here, Chelsea, put put the dish in the dishwasher. And how that can, and yes, I have to fight those off this morning, actually.

SPEAKER_00:

But those little thoughts and those little folding the towels when they think they're folding the towels and being nice, you have to refold all of them. I mean, we can actually do this all day. We won't do it. Yes, I know.

SPEAKER_01:

Doing this. Yes. But if we aren't intentional, those little resentments can just happen and they can build up. And I think it's taking a moment, it's like going to the dentist and getting your teeth clean and actually having, as you mentioned, the hey, let me think about it. Let's talk about it, let's do something about it. Those moments to no, I'm going to let go of, I'm going to actually let go of these. And it can be like an incredible cleaning that you didn't even know you needed until you got it, and realize that the fresh excitement and energy that we can have towards our spouse when we can just let let go of those little things. And so often it is really comes down to a choice that we make in our thoughts and our attitudes and our perspectives towards our person. And we make that choice to let it go. And it can feel difficult sometimes because I don't know if you've ever felt this way, Stephanie, but holding on to resentments can feel powerful. It can feel do you feel like it feels like, okay, now I have something to hold over your head.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a it gives us like a thing of pride. But you know, what I hear you saying, Chelsea, is you know, it's so easy, and this applies to other relationships too, but it's so easy for somebody to do something that perhaps, but we attach so much interpretation and meaning to it. And it's really the interpretation and meaning that we have attached that is making us crazy. And, you know, your husband put the dish in the dishwasher a certain way. My my husband will do something that, and then I'm taking it personally because he's not, you know, paying attention to what I said. I'm making all that up in my head, I'm making myself miserable. But it's hard to stand back and say, wait a second, is this really my husband? Or, you know, how about the grasses greener thing? You know, certainly as you go on, you know, I have discovered that if I get a little too bored in my own life, you know, then oh my gosh, is something wrong with my marriage? No, Stephanie, you just need a project. I have a project, Chelsea, and I'm happy with my marriage. Isn't that interesting? It's the person who we spend all the time with that we're like, oh, maybe that's the problem.

SPEAKER_01:

They're the easiest to point the finger at, the easiest to blame, the easiest to think, I need to change. Something is wrong in my life, and I need to change, and I can't get away from myself. So I'm gonna either try to change you or change for who the spouse is and get rid of you and find another one. And it's you're right, the grass is greener. And isn't it wild though? You're talking about that's such a brilliant insight. It is the interpretation that we give it. But when we do those things, when I leave a dish in the sink, it's just I was busy. And I am so gracious towards myself and the story I tell myself when I do not thoughtful things towards my husband. But it can be so difficult for us to pass on that same grace towards our towards our partner if we aren't careful. And I think a lot of that comes down to, you know, there's this little itty bit in Proverbs that I just find so fascinating. It says, above all else, get understanding. And it's that thought of, wow, all out of all of the wisdom of Proverbs and all the things that we can gain in life, it says, hey, if there's one thing you can gain, gain understanding and learning somebody else. And I have just found the power of understanding when I can understand Judah, when I can understand my husband and know who he is on the inside and what are his fears and what are his insecurities and what are his dreams and his hopes and what happened in his childhood. And actually, this one I know his mom was very particular about how the dishes should have gone in the dishwasher. And so even if he put the if we put them in there, she just redid it anyway. So he never learned the habit of doing it. And I've had 26 years that I could change it, but understanding those childhood and the where those things came from, it can give so it can give us the tools to tell ourselves a different story. And that is where I think that the most powerful thing in of this book isn't actually the words that I that I wrote, although I think hopefully the words should help, but it is the questions and the conversations that are going to spark between husbands and wives to begin to give each other an understanding of what moves them and what drives them. And and I just envision incredible conversations happening and telling, oh, I never heard that story of your childhood before. I didn't know that about you, and just the grace that spouses can begin to give each other as they get understanding. Have you you're 30 years, 34 years in, you said? Yes. Of marriage? Of marriage. Are you ever surprised still when you hear a story about your husband's childhood? And I I hadn't heard that before.

SPEAKER_00:

I didn't, I didn't know that. He tells news stories all the time, all the time. And as I'm listening to, if I were to ask my husband a direct question, and I do this a lot, how do you feel about XYZ? It's too deep for him. So what he'll say is, yes, it wasn't a yes or no question. It was, I mean, that's the like 70. I'm not going there with you. But if I were to ask him a question about how were your parents around this topic? Or when you were a kid, did you ever have anyone? And he would launch into a story about his childhood very he's 70 years old, and he will tell me a detailed story from third grade. Wow. So I think you're right, Chelsea. I think that tells us a lot about people without necessarily, you know, shining a spotlight on their eyes and making them feel like really vulnerable. Yep, or defensive.

SPEAKER_01:

Sometimes I feel like those questions only come up when you're already irritated, or like you have like, let's be honest, we're all humans, we have an agenda. One of one of the um chapters is about money. And it's how to have a conversation about money. And that does go into what were your parents like? What were you know, some of those things? And I realized in marriage, so often we the topic of money only comes up when there's a problem. We only talk about money when it's time to pay bills, and I'm feeling frustrated or I'm feeling scared, or I'm feeling worried, or anxious. And so there's all of this negative emotion wrapped up into the conversation when if we can have a conversation because it was handed to you in a devotional and it's somebody else saying talk about this. I think it can take away some of the defensiveness and help us to have a conversation that isn't negatively emotionally charged to start out with. And then we can talk about money in a way that isn't around frustrations or anxieties, but is around curiosity and wanting to know what our spouse comes from. I think some of the questions around money are what are your best gifts that you have when it comes to how you handle money? Like for Judah and I, we realized he is so generous. And I am really good at budgeting. And those two things could come in conflict, or we can recognize, no, this is a strength that Judah has, and this is a strength that I have. And if we can recognize those strengths in each other and help them work together, then we can we can be better at our money and be better at our marriage because of it. But it took us way too many difficult conversations and way too many fights to get to that place when I think hopefully we can hand something to people to say, here you go, have a conversation with money that isn't around that isn't around a fight.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I love what you just said. It took you way too many years and way too many conversations. So ideally, people early on in their marriages would have a book like this. And I think a lot of our listeners are women my age, I'm 62, who might have young adults who are newlyweds. This would be such a great book for young people because, as I said, it's it's not old-fashioned, it's relevant, it's honest, you know, it's not rose-colored glasses, it's really practical stuff. I think this would be a good gift. There are a couple of questions right on this. Because you've been married for 25 years, if you could give your newlywed self advice, what would it be around marriage?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh man, that is a brilliant question. I would say enjoy it. Take deep breaths. It's going to work out. And just I think of all of the time that I have wasted being uh frustrated about Judah for the things I fell in love with him about. He is a beautiful, spontaneous human being. And that is that's who he is. And when we started dating, I love the spontaneity. I loved that he would, you know, we were we dated long distance and he would just say, I'm driving down to Portland. It's it was a three-hour drive. I'm gonna come pick you up. And oh, that made me feel so loved and special. And I love the spontaneity. And then you're into marriage and he wants to do something spontaneous, and all of a sudden I don't like the spontaneity anymore. And to remember what I fell in love with about him, and why would I now want to change that just because it feels a little inconvenient or it's not the same as me. And so I think always having in mind this beautiful person who I fell in love with and enjoying him for who he is would probably be the advice I would give myself. It's a great question.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, it's interesting. Flipping that around, I'm sitting here thinking one of the things I found attractive about my husband when I was dating is that he had really great taste in restaurants and he took me to nice restaurants, and you know, he's we're dating, so he's paying the bill. And then we get married. I'm really good at budgeting. He still has the same taste in restaurants. I'm like, wait a minute, now that it's our money, I don't really want to go to expensive restaurants, and it's always sort of been a thing. And uh, you know, order whatever you want. I'm like, gosh, I I don't know if we need to get that most expensive thing. Now we're older, I've let it go. But it's funny when it's on you're you flipped on the other side. Okay, wait a minute, this is costing me something now. For you, the spontaneity is costing you having to adjust your schedule. Yes. For me, it's having to mess up the budget. You just hit on a topic too. So you talked about how God accepts us, each of us, the way we are, right? God loves us unconditionally. God is not trying to change us. We want to be transformed, but he's letting us follow his lead. He's knocking on the door, but he's not banging down the door. So you talk about this very thing. Why the very thing we fell in love with our spouses just as they are. What about trying to change spouses? I mean, this this is an ongoing issue for every couple. I'm sure there is something that we thought, well, we'll just revise that later. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

You're so right. But I don't, I think we think those things subconsciously. Like when I stood up with Judah and said, I we did the traditional vows, you know, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and sickness and health, I choose you, and thereto I pledge you my faith. I didn't have anything specifically in the back of my mind that I thought, oh, I'm gonna change about you. You know, it was just, I love you. But I do think there was a sense of, yeah, but but I but I really liked, I think the way I handle money is better than the way you handle money. So we're really just kind of my bend to my way of doing things when the rubber meets the road. And we I don't even think we knew I knew that until you know the first credit card statements come or we're balancing, you know, we we we combined our money right away, and it was like, oh, you know, and we had to begin to work through some of those things. And I I just do believe in that power of even that I do today, saying reminding ourselves, no, I chose this person knowing that they weren't gonna be perfect, knowing that there were gonna be times they were going to let me down and hurt me, because hopefully there that did happen in our in our dating journey is you know, there's some some fights and some letting down, but believe that I was going to still believe the best and hope the best. And and I love how you frame the question in the sense of, hey, God, God forgives me. God loves me, he accepts me. He isn't sitting in heaven looking at me, saying, Oh, I can't wait till Chelsea starts doing better, making her bed in the morning, then I'll really love her more, you know, or whatever it is, or when Chelsea stops being so selfish, or when, you know, I can, when Chelsea stops being all the things that I wish I could change about myself. And I do believe the greatest foundation for our marriage is knowing how loved and accepted we are by God and having that. One of the things on that, with as you spoke to that, is you know, the Bible talks about, you know, in James, it says we go through trials that we may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. And that word perfect is a very inaccurate translation. It actually should be more that we should be mature, that we should be growing, that we should be adapting, that God looks at us. He doesn't look for perfection in us, he actually just looks for that daily surrender and daily growth and daily coming to him and saying, Here I am, God. And how incredible would our marriages be if we could begin to do that for our spouse and just see them, not through the ways that they aren't perfect, but through the ways that we chose to love them and believe in them.

SPEAKER_00:

My uncle said at my son's rehearsal dinner, the advice that he gave, he had been married over 50 years now, actually 60. And he said, You decided to marry each other just the way you are right now. Do not try to change the person throughout your marriage. And I think that that is just so common. But remember the person you fell in love with and stay in love with that person. Now the truth is, hopefully, Chelsea, we all change as we get older. I like to joke, my husband, when I married him, he was super social and wanted to go out all the time. And we, and now it's like I have a two-hour limit at parties. We have to leave after two hours. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna break the rule. Yeah, I'm very intentional. I know I only have two hours, so I have to go talk to the people I want to talk to. So we also might need to accept the changes our spouses make as we get older. Because, you know, I actually look at that and say, Oh, I understand my husband better now than I did when we were first married. He's an introvert and he's extremely personable, extremely personable for two hours. And then he's lost all his energy. And so, okay, you know, does that mean he's a bad person? No, it's about understanding the other person. You talk in one of your devotionals about this idea, which is instead of being frustrated with a trait about our spouse, which is how resentment festers, try to believe the best about your spouse. So it's taken me, you know, some years to say, instead of saying, gosh, he's a stick in the mud, instead of saying that, say, actually, Stephanie, he is very personable for two hours. He is a very others-focused person. He asks people questions about themselves. He never puts himself on a stage. He is always interested in the other people. He makes people feel good about themselves for two hours. So, Stephanie, so I've come to appreciate that instead of resenting that we're leaving after two hours. And I'll I'll admit, sometimes I dawdle and I might get it to two and a half, but I try to be respectful too of the fact that he's exhausted.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and I I love how you just framed that because what you did is you you saw a trait that was annoying you, that was bugging you, to be the nicest word for it. And you reframed it into my mother-in-law has the most incredible saying that I have repeated to myself a hundred times that with every strength comes a compensating weakness. And, or with every weakness, you could even invert that, comes a compensating strength. And what you saw in your husband was okay, he has this thing that's bugging me, it could be a weakness of he only lasts for two hours. I am also an introvert, so I'm really liking this two-hour limit. I will just go sit in the car and say, Jude, I'm in the car, come out when you're ready. I am out of words. So I understand that. But you refrain that with a strength of, but he is very thoughtful and thinks about other people. And that is an incredible quality. And so often I think in our minds, we don't understand that those two go together. And we want everybody to be everything. And it just doesn't work. I could look at Judah, who is, and let's go back to the generosity thing. I could, I could look at him, and this was what took too many conversations of, oh man, he is just not great at recognizing the value of a dollar. Or I could reframe that and say, he's so generous that he doesn't feel like he needs to hoard every dollar for himself. And that that reframing, that understanding that that thing that that's that's bothering you, there's probably something on the flip side of that that you really, really love. And in one of the chapters, I think the exercise is actually pull off the notes section of your phone and either write yourself a note or send yourself a text just as a reminder of all of those things that you love about your spouse or that makes them them or makes them special. And give yourself a plan to know how to reframe those annoying things when you, when you, Stephanie, are walking out to the car and you're so annoyed because you are just about to have the best conversation with at that party. And you get to think instead, no, pull out your, you know, pull out the notes out of your phone and just giving yourself the gift of my husband is so thoughtful and I love that about him. And it's just, it's a simple thing, but that can completely change the drive bomb for you and your husband, right? Of instead of being annoyed, annoyed at him and rolling your eyes, and I can't believe we had to do early. Just think, I so appreciate how thoughtful you are.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm gonna emphasize this with people. Everyone should do this. Years ago, Dave and I took a marriage class, and one of the exercises was to come up with a list of your spouse's good qualities and did the same thing. That actually got me to do it for my two sons too. So they were notes on my phone. And you can just send, I've texted that to them at different times, which everyone appreciates getting that. I've saved it for years and years. But my husband, who wasn't taking the marriage class quite as seriously as I was, I had the list of all these great qualities. And then of course he had to do it and we had to read them out loud. And he wrote some nice things. But one of the things he wrote was, and this is at church, by the way, she's not a big drinker, so I don't have to break up a lot of bar fights. I was like, okay, well, if you want to put that, I never realized I had that great quality. You know, did you date a lot of girls who you had to break up bar fights for? Okay. That's a pretty low bar in our house, Chelsea.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Right. Sometimes the low bar works.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh dear. We talk on and on and on. I love talking to you. Just time has flown by and I kept her longer than I said I was going to. I would just really encourage folks to get this book. Again, it's called I Do Today, a 52-week guide to the marriage you've been waiting for. Get it for yourself. But you know what? Get it for the people you love. Get it for those young couples you know in your life. I mean, if, like we said, if people could learn these simple, simple things to make themselves happier, because that's what ends up happening, right? Yeah. We have a happy marriage and we're happier. If people could learn that early on, rather than going through all the bumps in the road that they could avoid if they had this guide, what a wonderful gift to give someone. So, Chelsea, tell us where to find you, where to find the book, and how to get in touch with you, perhaps on social media or church home. Perfect. Oh, thank you.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, yeah, the book is on wherever wherever books are sold. I mean, Amazon's always easiest for me because it's one click in there. So if you're Amazon, but also bookstores, it should be available in most major bookstores. Uh so you can get it on all those places on social media. Um Chelsea Smith spelled the proper British way. And then on church home, it's awkward. We had to make it all in one word. So it looks like church chrome, but C-H-U-R-C-H-O-M-E. And one of the, if I can just give one quick plug for church home and for marriages too, one of my favorite things that we do at our church is we provide a daily guided prayer. And it's five to seven minutes every day of connecting with Jesus. And, you know, it's based off of the Lord's prayer, but it's different every day. And I think, particularly for a husband and wife who are wanting to pray together or wanting to connect on a spiritual level, but don't necessarily know how. I'd also just love to give that plug that that is a great place to start that you can connect on a spiritual level, which is deeply intimate and personal and bonding, and I think can just do so many wonderful things for a marriage. So that those daily guided prayers, it's free on an app or on a website. They're they're there available for free for anybody who would love to connect with Jesus.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and we forgot to talk about your podcast, Marriage Monday.

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, yes, uh, marriage Monday. It's a it's an thank you, it's an Instagram post. And that actually was the impetus for the for the book along the way, which was I think I just need to give people this practical one thing to do every week just to focus on their marriage to make their marriages better. So that is on Instagram at uh tells these and it's just a marriage thought every week.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I love it. Well, I want to thank you so much for your time today, and I can ask my husband some interesting questions tonight. I can't wait to please let me know how it goes.

SPEAKER_01:

I can't I can't wait to I want to hear how you I want to hear about your and husband's sex conversation. Otherwise, not the case. Sometimes our sex life can get stuck in a rut. And I mean, I don't want to know the details.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't, I don't think we're having that conversation. Or if I am, I'm not talking about it on my podcast. Okay. I agree. Okay, so she's got some pretty spicy devotional entries, people. That's all I'm gonna say. You're gonna have to buy the book to find out what they are. Thanks so much. Great talking. Thank you so much.

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Stephanie Nelson

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