You Prayed for This... So Why Is it So Hard?

We talk with author Melissa Miller about the strange loneliness of getting what we prayed for and still feeling overwhelmed, disoriented, or exhausted. We name change fatigue, explore why good transitions can hit the body like stress, and share practical rhythms that help us find solid ground again. 

• Melissa’s story of relocation, new job, and foster care adoption creating survival mode 
• Change fatigue defined as real strain during positive transitions 
• Common signs like disorientation, cynicism, resignation, shutdown sleep 
• Eustress versus distress and why the body struggles to separate them 
• Four seasons after answered prayer: blooming, building, balancing, bittersweet 
• Rhythms that anchor the anticipatory brain including Sabbath and simple predictability 
• Gratitude versus toxic positivity and learning to hold space for hard feelings 
• Metacognition tools to name emotions, question thoughts, and respond with compassion 
• Prayer walking, breath prayers, and Scripture as practical supports 
• WHOLE framework: wellness, heart, outlook, life with God, engagement and community 

The book, "But I Prayed for This: What to Do When Living in God's Yes is Harder Than You Expected"  is out. Find it wherever you buy your books. You can also learn more about Melissa and contact her directly:
melissamiller.substack.com 
melissamillerwriter.com 

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Order Stephanie's book Imagine More: Do What You Love, Discover Your Potential 

Transcript

Welcome And The Book Premise

SPEAKER_00 0:23

I'd like to welcome Melissa Miller to the Pivotal People Podcast. As you know, I love to read, and she has just come out with a fabulous book. It is called, But I Prayed For This: What to Do When Living in God's Yes is Harder Than You Expected. I thought that was an intriguing title. I'll tell you what, it's a topic I've really never read about, and it's super honest and super authentic, and you're gonna love this conversation. You're gonna love this book. Let me tell you a little bit about Melissa before we get started. She's a family girl, a writer, and a reboot retreat facilitator living in Tennessee. She's been married for over 20 years. She has five children, and she's an advocate for vulnerable children in foster care. Having experienced an unconventional adoption as a teen and later adopting a sibling set from foster care, she has a heart to help kids from hard places find belonging. Through her writing and two-day reboot retreat process, she loves helping people step out of survival mode, establish life-giving rhythms, and rediscover joy in their everyday lives. And I'm just going to say quickly, yes, of course, I read her whole book. And I've already put a couple of her recommendations in practice in my own life. I did just this morning. And I'll tell you what, Melissa, I really appreciate it. We'll talk more about that later, but welcome. Looking forward to hearing all about the book.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Thank you so much for having me. I am really grateful that you are my first one on my podcast book tour.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Oh, very exciting. Okay. Well, wow. I don't have any comparisons. That's pretty nice. Melissa's book is she covers a lot of topics, as I said, that we can all relate to, but we probably never talk about. I love those kinds of books. This whole idea of getting what you prayed for, getting what you really wanted, and then having some sort of different experience than you expected. So there are a bunch of different points she made that were new to me. Concepts. Could we talk about change fatigue? Before we get started, Melissa, why don't you explain your situation where you really learned this? And then we can go from there. Tell us your story.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

And so I'm in the midst of this vortex

When Good Change Feels Hard

SPEAKER_01 2:59

of experiencing so much unexpected panic attacks, unexpected weight, unexpected disorientation because I just moved across the country. I'm still getting used to life in my new state and, you know, new doctors, new dentists, like all the things that come along with a big relocation like that. Started a new job, and we adopted a sibling set from foster care all within the same time period. So I wake up in the morning and my entire life is totally different. My schedule is different, my routine is different, the energy in my home is different. We had three biological kids. So we went from three to five overnight. And these were all things that I wanted, that I prayed for, that I chose and that I knew were blessings in my life. And yet I would still wake up in such a state of survival mode because everything was different. And so as I started researching, I realized I couldn't find a lot out there that would describe this type of experience. There's a lot of people that talk about what happens when we're in a crisis or in a tragedy or we get a difficult diagnosis. And I knew what that didn't quite fit my situation, but I didn't hear anyone else talking about how even good life changes are hard and there's an adjustment period. And especially when those life changes add up and accumulate all at once. And change fatigue, the only time that I saw that used was in the context of an organization or a business. And when the CEOs or whoever is in charge would roll out new initiatives, the employees would get very fatigued and kind of feel resigned because they're like, well, a new change is coming anyway. So, you know, I'm just gonna, you know, kind of resign and get a little tired and disillusioned and all those things. But I thought that was such a perfect term to describe what I was experiencing personally. So I think personal change fatigue is just as valid as professional change fatigue. And it doesn't mean that we're hopeless. It doesn't mean that we're trying to compare our struggle to anybody else's struggle, and it doesn't mean that we aren't grateful. And that was what made the experience so isolating was that I was afraid that maybe if I opened up about how much I was really struggling, that people would be like, well, you prayed for this, you chose this, you know, and you got to be grateful. And I knew all those things and I was grateful, but I was also experiencing change fatigue. I didn't really have language for that. And so I really wrote the book because I I had this feeling like I can't be the only one who is experiencing this. There's gotta be more people who have been very disoriented by big life changes that were good and that were positive and that they prayed for and that they planned, and then yet there was a weight maybe that they didn't expect. Right.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

And well, you gave a lot of interesting examples that I think we can relate to, not all of us can relate to the incredible generosity of adopting a sibling set out of foster care. That is so beautiful. I love that. But you gave examples of how about the newlyweds? You know, you spent a year planning this fabulous wedding and you come home from this fabulous honeymoon, and now you have this, you know, marriage for eternity. And well, people admit that's hard. You talked about retirement. I can relate to this. So many people plan and plan and plan, and then you retire and you can't tell people that this is hard. Even little things like how long you plan a vacation, and then it ends up being a disappointment. You can't tell people that cruise was disappointing, and especially, I think you talked about jobs. You know, you work so hard for this big promotion, or perhaps a job in a new city, and you finally get it. So, change fatigue. What does that look like in everyday life? Like someone listening might be like, okay, well, I don't have huge changes. I maybe changed my neighborhood or maybe I changed my schedule. But what do you experience? What does change fatigue feel like, look like?

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah, I kind of listed out the signs of change fatigue in my book. And I was a little nervous to do that because I'm like, this isn't a diagnosis. Like if you brought this to your doctor, they'd be like, what are you talking about? So, but I wanted to point out some of the things that I experienced. And then once I started getting the courage to talk about this, people started saying, Yes, that's the season I'm in. I'm experiencing change fatigue. And, you know, whether it was the new mom who just enrolled her kids in a preschool, she's juggling a new role at work, and her and her husband are like ships passing in the night because it's busy and it's a blur and it's like they're grateful, but this is also a new season. It's very busy and they're experiencing change fatigue. So I wrote out a few of the examples of maybe some change fatigue. I put that maybe they would experience a little bit of disorientation, maybe they would experience some cynicism or you know, maybe resignation, like what's the point in me waking up and trying again, you know, anyway, or fatigue, obviously. Trying to find the the part in my book where I talk about that.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

And some of the people you said slept a long time. Oh, yes, yes, you know, our bodies kind of shut down.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Yes. I thought it was really strange when I heard about somebody moving across the country and then they slept for 14 hours for the first several months. And then that same thing happened to my husband after we moved to Florida. He was just sleeping like I've never seen him sleep before. And so, yeah, I think that there is, I talk about how there's a difference between youth stress and de stress. And you stress is something that we experience when it's a positive, it motivates us, it challenges us. But e-stress can become de-stress if it's layered with a lot of change and pressure and lack of sleep and that kind of thing. And so I don't think that I realized at the time that maybe my body just couldn't parse out good change from, you know, good stress from bad stress. Like it just was stressed and it was responding the way God designed it to respond when there's a lot going on and you're, you know, adjusting and recalibrating. And so I was able to give grace to myself as I began to research for this book, realizing that I'm not broken. There's not something wrong with me. I'm not ungrateful for experiencing that. And to admit that this is a new season and that there's an adjustment period and a reorientation that I'm experiencing, it doesn't mean that I am not grateful or that I would choose any differently. And that's another thing. It was like, did I hear God wrong? Did I pray wrong? Did I take a wrong step? What did I do wrong? And sometimes those seasons cause us to reevaluate maybe, did I take a wrong step? And I think it was Carolyn Leaf who said, just because you feel maybe sad after making a decision doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. And so sometimes those mixed emotions, those unexpected emotions can really be confusing. And I wanted to help people provide language from what they might be experiencing, that they're not broken and they're not ungrateful, and that there is a safe place in this book for them to find language for what they're experiencing.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

And you kind of talked about recalibration. You talked about people who were going through some sort of change fatigue and then one day they woke up and they were fine. It's like your body recalibrates. One day can make all the difference. This is not going to be a forever thing, especially if, okay, so number one is let's be aware that this can happen when we're going through transitions and don't be deceived by it. As you said, don't quit the job because, oh no, I don't feel good about it. Or you talk about self-care. What can people do if you've recognized, okay, I'm having these mixed emotions, I'm having these, you know, maybe negative, negative emotions. What can I do to give grace and compassion to my own body, to my own self to help get through this?

SPEAKER_01 11:01

That's a great question. And I'll just back up for one second to give the context of the different seasons that I talk about, because not everyone is in the exact same season. And so I wanted to also provide language for that because as I was talking to people, I was realizing, oh wow, there's a lot of commonalities in these kind of categories of what people are stepping into. And the first one is the season of blooming, and that's the one that we all pray for, right? It's the prayer of Jabez, God granted his request, period, end of story, happily ever after. And I think that's sort of what we all expect an answer to prayer to feel like. And sometimes that does

Four Seasons After Answered Prayer

SPEAKER_01 11:33

happen. Sometimes we step into a really sweet, peaceful season where we got what we prayed for, and it's nothing but ease. But that's not always the case. And so there are other seasons I call one of them a season of building. And that is when you got what you wanted in prayer, but it came with a lot of hard work. And you are grateful, but you are also grinding. There's a lot of fatigue and exhaustion. It could be a new role at work, it could be adopting from foster care. There is a lot of logistical fatigue and weight to this new season that you've stepped into, you know, a new ministry or a new dream. And learning anything new requires using different parts of our brain that maybe we haven't used at all or in a while. And that can be an adjustment. And so it is exhausting, even if you're not physically doing labor, there is an exhaustion to it that is just a part of the learning curve of building and being in a season of building. And I think new moms are another example of that. Sometimes the weight of having a newborn baby is so much different than what you expected. And depending on how well your baby sleeps, or if they're colicky or not, or if there was an unexpected diagnosis, sometimes that can be its own season of building, even if you're not in a boardroom, right? And so the other season is the season of balancing, and that is when your emotions don't match your experience. And this is a unique season that I found several people expressed that even though there was nothing wrong on the outside, everything felt off on the inside. And my friend was a great example of this. She's was researching post-wedding depression because there was nothing wrong with her wedding and nothing wrong with her husband. And she was very grateful for her new season and she could not explain her feelings. And so she was like, Am I the only one? And so she's researching this and Googling this and realizing that actually there are a lot of brides that experience this. So that's a season of balancing. And those are very confusing seasons when you don't you did not expect to feel the way that you're feeling. And then there's the last one is a bittersweet season. And that's when we get what we prayed for. And along with it came something really hard or a curveball that is a big trial in our lives. And I use the example of my friend Hannah, who she prayed for a baby, and God brought a beautiful baby boy into her life. And at the same time, she had to have an emergency hysterectomy and grasp with the fact that she would never be able to birth another child again. So she has this gratitude in one hand and this grief in another. And those are also very disorienting seasons. It's almost like you're getting emotional whiplash, like I'm so grateful, and there's this big blessing. And then also there's this huge curveball or this huge trial or this grief that I have to process. And so, so season of blooming, balancing, a bittersweet season, and then a season of building. And so those seasons, I believe, require something a little bit different for each season, which is why I made sure to include a lot of tools, especially in the appendix and scriptures for each particular season, because they're a little bit different. There's some commonalities, but they're a little bit different. And what I found was that the rhythms that worked in my previous season didn't work in my new season. And it took me a while to figure that out. When things change in our lives, the old rhythms that once worked that keep us steady, that keep us anchored, that refresh us, that give us rest, that replenish us might not be the same things that we need in this new season. And so I have a whole chapter on whole, W-H-O-L-E. And each little letter stands for an acronym that represents a different domain in our lives. And it gives really practical examples of how you might be able to nurture that part of your life as a whole human being, not just one part of your life, but as a whole human being,

Building Rhythms With The WHOLE Tool

SPEAKER_01 15:26

so that you can find your footing again, because that helps so much, even small things for me, like putting pizza night on the calendar. There's this thing called the anticipatory brain. And researchers have realized that when we know we have something to look forward to on the calendar, when we can expect it and predict it and plan for it, that actually helps our brain feel anchored. So when you're in a season of change fatigue, I think this is why God calls us to have a Sabbath, because we can anticipate the Sabbath. He says, remember the Sabbath, right? Remember the Sabbath. So we can anticipate it, we can plan for it, we can prepare for it. And our brains are like, yes, something predictable and rhythmic and familiar I can depend on is coming and a time of rest is coming. And so those types of rhythms that we can have in our lives, even the small ones like pizza night, give your brain something to look forward to when you feel untethered.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

I love that. I love that. So you also talk about gratitude. I really love this chapter because you kind of turned my thinking a little bit. Gratitude and toxic positivity. And I loved your example of going to London. Okay, so you just riff on all this. You know what I'm talking about. So I'm not gonna butcher it. I loved it. Talk to us about gratitude

Gratitude Without Toxic Positivity

SPEAKER_00 16:46

and how that fits in this whole equation without becoming toxic positivity.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, I don't know if toxic positivity is the right term for it. I just didn't know what else to call it because when I would go to church or I would open up to someone about what I was experiencing, I know that it is a beautiful story. Adoption is a beautiful thing. And on the outside looking in, I can understand why somebody would see it as this fairy tale, right? I can understand why somebody would be celebrating with us and they want that version of the story that is just wrapped up with a bow. I get that. But also, especially when you're adopting older kids from foster care, there is a lot of trauma that they've been through. There's a lot of loss. And there is an adjustment period, not just for our biofamily, but for them. They're having to let go of what's familiar. They've seen videos on YouTube that scared them saying when you get adopted that you won't have any touch with any of your biological family. And, you know, so there's an adjustment period for them too. And I remember my daughter saying, I am happy that I got adopted, mom. I really am. She's like, sometimes the tears just come. I'm like, yes, I know that feeling, yes. And so I would try to open up about some of the things that we were working through, some of the adjustment, some of the adjustment for them or for us. And I kind of felt like it wasn't the version of the story people wanted to hear. They were like, oh, but it's so wonderful and it's so great, and this is such a beautiful story and God's hand in it. And all that's true. And also, it's a difficult adjustment, right? And there's there's some hard stuff that is going on that was pretty heavy to wade through and still is sometimes, you know, the loss doesn't just and the trauma doesn't just magically go away after the adoption day. There's a long road of healing for these kids. And so what I realized is that we really need to be better about giving people permission and not trying to brush aside or give people the silver lining real quick or, you know, wrap their story up with a bow because it's easy on us, just holding space for someone and giving them permission to say, yes, it's beautiful and it's grateful and it's hard, is something that I didn't even realize that I needed until I was in one of those seasons. And so I went to London and I was able to work together with a bunch of different cultures all at once. I've never been in that position before. And we had to work together on a project. And I remember one time, it was about 35 of us, a man stopped and he stood up and he said, I know we have a lot of happy, clappy Americans in the room, but it's time to be honest. And that was one of many conversations that I had throughout the event where they explained how we do that. And other countries and other cultures pick up on how we do that. We we like to package things up real nice. We like the encouraging words, we like the pretty version of the story. And somebody would walk in and just have a hard day. And if it was an American on the other side, they don't have permission to admit that. And so I thought that was such an interesting experience. And it just happened to coincide with what I was experiencing in my own journey. And it felt like God really just showed me a little bit of a blind spot that sometimes we can have as Americans or American Christians, that we have to be really careful that we don't try to hurry people along to be further along in the process of whatever it is that they're holding that might be heavy.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

You also talked about, and I highlighted in the book, I probably can't find it, so I'm gonna paraphrase. You talked about going to a therapist years ago and what's your goal? And you said, Well, I just want to be bulletproof. I just want to be able to handle anything that comes my way and not be, you know, shaken at all. And that person said something to the effect like, Well, you're a human being, that's impossible. But we can learn how to recognize and

Naming Thoughts And Managing Emotions

SPEAKER_00 20:45

then manage our emotions. This is what you did for me, this is what I practice today. Okay, I'm just gonna say some silly thing that I'm upset about, some relationship kind of thing. And I'm not even gonna say what it is because it's so trivial, but it still was taking up too much brain space. So, in saying, okay, wait a minute, back up. What's that emotion? I do feel like this. I feel bad about this. Okay, well, what's the thought you're getting? Well, the thought that is I'm not good enough and blah, blah, blah area. Okay, wait a minute. Is that true? So this is metacognition, right? This is stepping outside instead of like just rolling with that and letting that feeling and that thought lead, and then wait a second, let me step outside of that. Who said that? And so then you say, Imagine the wisest and most compassionate person you know. And I really have to stop and think and stop and think. And I'm like, you know who I came up with? My 26-year-old niece, my 26-year-old niece. I gotta text, I gotta text her about this. I mean, I was going through a catalog of adults I knew, you know, older people, and I couldn't, but okay, her. What would that person say when you're saying, you know, I don't measure up in this area or I'm a bad person, whatever it is I'm saying? She would look and say, Aunt Stephanie, who are you even talking about? I don't even know who you're talking about. We would all say that. You would be the compassionate friend because we see people, we see the best of people, and they're maybe looking at the worst of themselves. So you really helped me today. That was like a whole page in my journal. Thank you very much. I feel much better. I love that. So your therapist, the other thing your therapist said was you were should, should say all that. You were shooting all over yourself. That doesn't sound like. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Yes. I I really had this really naive idea of what the goal of therapy was. Like he said, what's your goal? And I was like, I want to be bulletproof.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Oh, and then you also said, I did highlight this because I thought it was funny. Think about people we interact with, people who really aren't bothered by emotions at all. You know what we call them? We call them jerks. Jerks. Those aren't real people, so we don't want to be like that. So thank you for the permission to analyze my feelings. Anyway, you also talk about there's so many kinds of what I love about your book is you have these practical strategies. One of them was your prayer walk.

SPEAKER_01 23:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:21

Talk to me about that because I loved that.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Yes, I am a big fan of prayer walking. Right after we took in the kids, I can't explain the craving I had to walk. And I would walk around the neighborhood in the morning and then I would do it again in the afternoon, and then I would do it again in the evening. And then eventually I

Prayer Walking And Breath Prayers

SPEAKER_01 23:41

started praying while I was walking. And it felt like one of those anticipatory brain moments where I would start to look forward to this walk every day. It wasn't until later that I started to piece together the research on why that is. There is so much beautiful research about the benefit of walking. And there's also beautiful research on the benefit of prayer and to combine those two things and be able to give your nervous system a place to process and rest and recharge. And I don't know if you're familiar with the EMDR modality, but it was created because this woman was working with war veterans and she noticed that the processing of the emotions while they were walking, she noticed that the eye movement and the even the hand, like when you're swaying your arms back and forth, that that was activating both parts of the brain. So it's actually helping you process. Like if you are walking and you are processing your emotions with God in prayer while you are walking, you are activating both of those parts of your brain and you are processing in the same way that when we sleep and we dream, we're processing, right? And that I didn't know until much later is explained why I was craving going on walks because I had so much to process and God wanted to meet with me so that He could help me process all of this new change that I was experiencing. And so I included some breath prayers in the book, some kind of breathe in, breathe out, and a resource on that so that you can discover how biblical it is and that it's not something woo-woo, you know, it's just an opportunity for you to bring your emotions to God. Sometimes when you're in the thick of change fatigue, you can't even find the words. And those seasons, it's like your brain has a million tabs open, right? So I wanted to provide some practical resources and prayers that people could follow along with when they're in those seasons when they can't find the words, because I know I was. And I would have scriptures written out on my bathroom wall that I would read every time I was in the bathroom. And they were my anchor scriptures that I would go to and turn them into, you know, prayers. And so I wanted to pass those along. If it were up to me, I'm a very whimsical writer by nature. This would be a hodgepodge book that was very whimsical with no practicality to it. Thankfully, I have an amazing team in Nelson Books, and I have an amazing agent, and they encouraged me to get practical. They encouraged me to help people in the ways that I could communicate that I had been helped. And I'm so glad that they did that because there are so many gems in the book, like you said, that are going to help people in really tangible ways that I probably wouldn't have included if it were left solely up to me.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

Well, I appreciate that because I like following tangible tips. I really like, I would say your book is a great framework. I think I'm saying this off the top of my head, about 10 chapters on different things at the end. I love scripture. I love how you have not just scripture references, but actual written-out scripture verses that go with each topic. And at the end of each chapter, Melissa will take, like on that particular topic, a scripture that applies. And so first you read the scripture, then she kind of teaches us how to turn that into a prayer, as she just said. But you see it in writing, and it's amazing how just a little bit of a turning that just a few degrees connects us to God. The scripture we're reading about God, but when we just turn it a little bit, we're talking to God, and you remind us throughout the book, just be honest with God. I mean, he knows how we feel. We don't have to be happy clappy with him or her or whatever it is. So the prayer walk, I love to walk too. But in the morning, first thing in the morning, I kayak. So today I did prayer kayaking. I'm wondering if that still works because you still have this activation either side. That's such a good point. Yeah, I just love that. You have lots of practical tips on self-care. And also, could you elaborate on why we shouldn't feel like self-care is secular, selfish, whatever you want to call it? Because I think there is a little bit of a taboo against that term. Self-care isn't selfish care.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Yeah. The whole framework that I included in the book is W stands for wellness. So that's taking care of your body. Okay. If you want to go into scriptures about that, our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, right? We we do need to take care of our body. And it's not just about exercises. That's not the point. The point is, what are you doing to nourish the temple that God gave you today? Because a lot of this change fatigue you're experiencing,

Wholeness Through Body And Community

SPEAKER_01 28:25

the lack of sleep. I found out during my season that I had severely low blood sugar because I was feeding everybody else. I was adjusting to feeding a family of seven and forgetting to eat myself. And so I remember the day that I had sweet tea, I felt the blood return to my veins or my brain. And I was like, this is incredible. And so it could be something like drinking more water, making sure that you're having good meals and eating enough, you know, it could be the prayer walks, it could be something. That's why I give a lot of examples because it's not a one size fits all. You just need to go to God and say, what, God, what can I do to prioritize my body today, to prioritize my health today? What can I do? And all of us are gonna have different non-negotiables. I have a certain smoothie that I drink every day. And if I didn't get time to play pickleball that day or work out that day, or go on a walk, I'm gonna have that smoothie. That's my non-negotiable because it has all the nutrients that I know I need and it's I could go on and on. And then there's H. H stands for heart. Heart is our emotions, and you know, you've touched on that a lot already. But what are we doing daily to make sure that we are tending to our emotions? Because what can happen is it's like a big garden. And if you don't pull weeds every now and then, then the weeds can start to choke out the really good stuff. And so I encourage people to have a rhythm of checking in with their emotions, bringing their emotions to God. And, you know, that could be weekly, that could be daily, that could be monthly. I give a lot of different options for people to choose from, almost like a menu of sorts, because I realize what works for me might not work for everyone. And then O is outlook, and that's your mindset, right? What lies are you believing right now, today, that or mindsets that are limiting or that you need to shift? Are you feeling stuck? And then if so, what does God have to say about that? So checking in, making sure that your mindset is in alignment, right? And you notice how I'm bringing all of these things back to God because in every category, He created us as whole beings. He doesn't want this separate compartment of our lives and and he's only in the spiritual category, you know, right? So you can call it self-care, soul care, whatever you want to call it. I'm calling it wholeness. We need to be whole. And I use scripture references for that, right? He talks about shalom, right? Means wholeness and complete and lacking nothing. And then there's L, life with God, which obviously we nobody has any pushback on that one, right? We understand our spiritual lives, and you know, at least for Christians, they're not going to have any trouble understanding that that's an important part of our lives. And so I give some examples of what you can do with that. And then e engagement, our relationships, community is so, so important when you are struggling with change fatigue. And even though you might be in a really busy season and you feel like I don't have time for it, you kind of don't have time not to, because the ability to have support, and I include scientific research on this as well, it helps you lighten the load. It helps you feel like you are not carrying this alone. And these kinds of experiences can be isolating, but they don't have to be. When you can even find one safe person who can be your come as you are person or call me when you need, or all you have to do is send a prayer emoji and I've got your back. Those kinds of people in the journey are priceless. And so I encourage everybody to have that whole wholeness and that whole perspective so that they can make sure that they're finding their footing again and finding solid ground again during that whirlwind of change.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

And you know, so many people would love to be that one person. I mean, what an honor to be like, okay, Melissa feels like I'm her trusted one person. Of course, I'm gonna pray for her.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

I think so. I think people are afraid that they're gonna be a burden. But actually, I remember a friend calling me and she goes, I know you have bigger struggles than what I'm dealing with right now, but can I ask for prayer? And she was the opposite of a burden. I felt like she gave me an invitation. Like we have now an invitation to do this for each other, and I needed that as well.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Exactly. That's what I love about really good trusted friends. So I told you, I've kept her longer than I told her I was going to, by the way, because you can see why. So I'll have to end it by saying, everyone, the book is out. You can order it, you can find it everywhere. You're gonna be really glad you did. Not just for yourself. This might be a really good gift for someone who you know is going through a transition. They would appreciate it. And in the meantime, what's the best way for people to reach you? We'll have it in the show notes.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

Thank you for asking.

How To Connect And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 33:09

I do hang out on Substack a lot. I love my newsletter and connecting with people on there. And so I melissamiller.substack.com. You can also check out my website and melissamillerwriter.com, and there is some different resources there and a link to my book as well on there and a link to my newsletter. So whichever one I hang out on Instagram to, that's my place as far as social media goes. But I am on other platforms, but that those are the the newsletter and Instagram are where I hang out the most.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

Well, that's great. MelissamillerWriter.com because it is a common name. So we'll have all this in the show notes, but I just want to wish you the best of luck with your book launch. It's gonna help so many people. I have a feeling there's gonna be another book.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

Thank you. I appreciate that a lot. And I'm so glad that you put some things into practice this morning and got something out of it that really blesses me. Oh, thank you so much for writing it. You have a great week. You too. Bye bye.